oh my gracious!

middles

2009-08-04T12:52:00.006-04:00

What is that quote about beginnings and ends? I think it's that there are no beginnings and ends in life, only middles. And that's right where I am: smack dab in the middle of a big old middle.

I have been struggling with this blog for a good while now. I like to blog. I like to write and post pictures and read other blogs and be able to comment on them. The amount of information and time spent that blogs offer is overwhelming. The problem is that I just don't know where it fits in my life. I don't really know what purpose it serves. It's not a scrapbook. It's not just about writing or photography or decorating. I think it's become a place to release the squeaky wheel of my thoughts.

The thing is that my life has changed so much over the past year and I am just a beginner at balancing my home life with making a business out of sewing. My legs are wobbly and I fail a good bit at walking on this fresh ground. When the summer began, I was pretty sure that I was done. Done with blogging.

But, as part of my crawl-walk-run progress, a website became an obvious goal. Now with that on the horizon and some more solid business plans, I realize that keeping a blog will be good for me. I also realize, though, that blogging without purpose will continue to be a heavy load.

So I won't be posting here anymore. Over the past month, I've been revamping my business blog and preparing myself to move over there permanently. It won't be the same. I don't plan on posting as much writing. I plan to limit myself to posts about creative projects, news about my business and the daily inspiration (family, home, city) around me. I don't think I'll be able to resist writing some about family and life lessons; they'll be sprinkled in here and there. I hadn't planned to make this switch until later in the summer, but keeping up two blogs is oh so very much more than I can handle. It's time and I know it.

I don't really know who reads this blog. I've never asked. But, I do hope that you'll follow me over here (and say hi!) and watch as God strengthens and stretches me in this new dimension of my life.

the weight of knowing

2009-07-28T12:18:00.007-04:00

Lately my heart has been learning that it's ok that I can't do everything. With that knowledge comes the understanding that when I choose one thing, I cannot choose another. Sounds simple. It has given me freedom and also pause at my little turns throughout the day. I am learning to choose my kids and know that the mess, the one that seems so huge, is still going to be there and it's ok. Because I will never regret choosing to just spend time with them. I am learning, too, to choose to order my day so that there is space for me to focus on being my husband's wife.

It also means that I have to be a big girl now and choose things that will bless my family like playing or cleaning or organizing or cooking. When I sit down at the computer or open a book or stare mindlessly at absolutely nothing (all things that I enjoy), I do so with the weight of knowing what I am not choosing. Which makes it just a little bit easier to get up and do the other things that call to me.

Things like playing Indiana Jones legos.

Or staging a boat rescue.
Or singing and clapping so that this tater tot can dance.

Linked to Tuesdays Unwrapped.

pro-cras-ti-na-tion

2009-07-25T21:25:00.005-04:00

I have a show on Tuesday. My house is a mess. There are ten necklaces waiting to be put together (if I can even get that far). And here I am posting pictures.

We went to Edisto. The short version: we played on a windy afternoon, we dug holes, we took up the whole beach with our shoes, we explored an old plantation, we took morning walks/bike rides, we sat on the porch swing, we ate and ate some more. I hope that they'll have memories of this place like I do.

more house stuff

2009-07-13T19:59:00.004-04:00

I figured I'd show some pictures of the breakfast room since it's pretty much done. I have one bare wall but I don't have one single idea for what to put on it, so I'm just going to go with what I have for right now.

The Nester is also having a Price My Space party. So. How about I show you my room and tell you what it cost me to get it to this point? Part of me knows that it is against the rules to broadcast what you've spent but the other part of me knows that I always want to know anyway.

First of all, look how I figured out how to put fancy numbers on my photos! I downloaded paint.net for something I'm working on. Too bad the pictures aren't as fancy.

1. Canvas drop cloth drapes (including clip rings), $20. Black painted wood rod (was white), a total guess at around $6 since I've had it for at least six years. Black Pottery Barn chandelier (was bronze), gift.

2. Chalkboard, $13 at Hobby Lobby

3. Three ladderback chairs, $10 each at Gladys and Judy's in Chapin. Three small black chairs, hand-me-downs from my grandmother. Cream round table, built by my dad with the balustrade of the staircase from my mom's childhood home as the base. The mason jar was a gift from someone and the boxwood sprigs and ivy are from the backyard.

Another view:

This room is teensy! Here's the other side:

1. Boy scout boxes filled with tent and stakes and boy scout twine, gift (part of a trailer Tom's boss bought for him at the children's home's garage sale). Metal stars, $15. Fabric, free (top piece) and around $3 a yard on clearance (bottom piece). Metal basket, free and from our deep freezer.

2. Most of the items on the counter were gifts and I don't think I'll go through all of my china as it was mostly gifts and would take forever. I did buy the tiny little chair for $7 at one of my favorite Columbia stores. The little print in the back is a screenprint that my Great Aunt Caroline did.

a very, very, very fine house

2009-06-24T10:20:00.014-04:00

To date the official start to summer for us has involved my wallet, cell phone and make-up bag being stolen and Whitt having an odd stomach bug that has lasted six days so far. I don't have a lot of meaningful things to say, but the other day I cleaned our den and remembered that I haven't taken any after pictures of the house.

So, I was thinking that I'd show some pictures of where we are. What I'm showing today is by no means finished, but it's where we've gotten without spending much money which has been Tom's mantra over the past two months.

This is our den before. Not a bad start!

I didn't do the best job at taking before pictures because Whitt was running around and at that point he didn't really do stairs.

This is the before view from our den into the back of the house: dining room, breakfast room and kitchen. The door to the right leads to my room, an office/sewing room. I'll show that another day.

Here it is today. I have to say first that I really love to decorate and arrange. I am sure, however, that a professional would find a million things wrong with what I've done. I used to really struggle with that fact. I used to feel like our house was just a rectory filled with mostly hand-me-downs.

Over the past two years I have learned to stop comparing and to embrace my things and my house and my style. It is quirky, but I think that it is true to our family. I love our little house and no matter where I've been on any given day, I always feel good when I walk in the door of our home. What we've been given? It's something to be thankful for and I have the built-in reminder of being surrounded by people who have been uprooted to remind me that we have so much more than we need.

The walls are a buff color throughout the downstairs, excluding the kitchen and breakfast room. It was hard to pick a neutral color after six years of white walls, but there were no do-overs, so I needed to know that we wouldn't get any paint surprises.

This is the view from the foyer. The doors to the right and left lead to the sunroom/playroom.

View from the other side looking into the foyer. I closed the doors on the entertainment center which we never do. Do y'all do that? Close the doors when you're not watching tv? I guess I'm lazy.

Everything is pretty much the same in this house as in the other except we brought Tom's grandparents' wardrobe into the den. I could tell he didn't want to lug it upstairs and we don't need it up there anyway. It holds coats and boots. The picture and silver serving pieces on top were my grandma and grandpa's.

This little wicker chair was in the nursery when Drew was a baby. I sprayed it black last year. The picture on the wall was my grandma's.

The other change in this room is that my parents gave us a rug they weren't using. I'm trying to work more blue in so it belongs a little more. The two Charleston cathedrals were cross-stitched by my mama in the 70s.

I've shown this thrift store lamp before. It's the only thing I bought for this house in the den.

Just look at all of our remotes. We are cheap. We don't have cable, so we have a converter box. It's sort of a sore spot right now because we don't get NBC. I am trying to be patient, but when The Office and Friday Night Lights start their new seasons, well, I don't know, but I think I will not be a pleasant person if I have to watch them on our little laptop every week.

This is the view from our couch to the back of the house. My daddy came and hung the two chandeliers for me. He also fixed the downstairs shower. That's how we roll. I always have a project for him. He always does it lovingly. The chandelier in the dining room was my grandmother's. The one on the floor is the children's home's and I don't really know what to do with it.

I think y'all need a break, so I'll revisit more of the house in the coming weeks. If y'all are interested. You might be saying, "P'shaw!" I don't know. I do know that I love looking at other peoples' houses and I'm trusting that you do, too!

weirdly different

2009-06-14T17:34:00.003-04:00

Why is it that the you that sets out to have summer be all relaxing does not communicate with the you who schedules summer camps and vacations and playdates and lessons? I have overbooked us in every way possible and I am fighting the urge to scratch it all off the calendar and stay at the beach for the bulk of the summer. If it weren't for Tom. Because I spent money on these experiences and that causes his heart to go all a-twitter and he gets very clammy. And I would have to be without him for a good little while and since he sort of keeps me in the realm of reality, I would be very adrift without him.

We just finished swimming lessons and next week we begin VBS; then it's zoo camp for Drew and then gymnastics camp for Mary Des. And then we have a couple of trips to the beach and then one to Atlanta. All of that crammed into eleven weeks.

I am sort of a one-trick pony in that I only do one or two things well. Any more and I start to come unstitched. I leave the ice cream on the counter. Or better yet, I put it in the cabinet. I buy jam instead of jelly. Apparently this is very worrisome because there is a huge difference between jam and jelly. I leave the van door open. For hours at a time and even though I now have a faincy van that has automatic doors. I wonder why the laundry porch (it isn't even really a room) is so warm for two days until I am informed that the back door is unlocked and cracked. Open. In June. When it's 90 degrees in this city of cement. FOR! TWO! DAYS! Y'all want to know what that did to my husband's heart?

My pastor said this morning that we are are all created weirdly different. I think the Lord wanted to emphasize both of those characteristics when He thought me up. The point is that until I can get through the crazy I have created, I will be posting a bit more lightly. At some point in time I thought all of these things were a good idea and now I want to focus on actually enjoying them.

i'm just holding on

2009-06-09T11:09:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I call Whitt bad to the bone. It frustrates Tom, but he sort of is. I mean that in the best, only your mother can say it, endearing way possible. His smile is wily. When you tell him no, he cuts his eyes at you and it is obvious that he is wondering if you really mean no and if it is really worth it.

Sometimes I catch him with Mary Des' pink princess bike helmet on. He sticks things up his nose. Last week he somehow reached the chip bag and I found him walking around with one hand stuck down in the bag. He was all, "What?" I guess he had the munchies.

He talks some, but mostly when you ask him to say something he says, "Na." He wants to do everything himself. Eat. Drink. Walk up stairs. Cross the street. He doesn't share either and if I am even close to his sister or brother he is quick to run over and claim me as his.

If you say, "Ready. Set. Go," he will run. He. Does. Not. Stop. He is constant motion and, honestly, he exhausts me. I just know that this is my daredevil child.

The thing is that even though all of these things are tiring to even write, I love him so very much. I love him so very much BECAUSE of these things and a whole host of others. He's a tater tot and I wouldn't want anything else.

everyday: afternoon

2009-06-02T10:46:00.001-04:00

I'm sure it's the same at every house with small children, but those forever-feeling short hours between the end of nap time and Daddy and dinner are quite the challenge here. Last week we decided to walk over to the baseball field on the campus of the children's home where my husband works and we live.

We stopped short, though. Because we found a ramp. There is a toddler in our ranks and he loves ramps, loves to run up and down them and keep my heart trilling because I just know he is going to eat pavement.

We have been to that ramp every afternoon since. While Whitt and I run up and down, the older two play Buzz Lightyear and race and try to get Whitt to catch them. Which does wonders for my heart. Sometimes we get hot and tired.

We move on to what I like to call the canopy. It is five or six huge trees that form an umbrella of protection on hot days. Their position invites the breeze. We still play Buzz Lightyear. Drew contemplates how to climb such tall trees and Mary Des yells at the top of her lungs so that a sweet, childlike voice bounces back at us off the walls of the chapel and ramp we just left.

Then we wander into the tallish grass of the home's ballfield and pick flower-weeds and let the blades tickle our ankles and set a spell. The best afternoons are when we see Daddy walking home and we holler out for him. He hollers back and we all giggle and run to catch up with him.

That is my afternoon these days and I am liking it.

lyrical life

2009-06-01T13:00:00.000-04:00

My life sometimes feels like the refrain of an old-timey country song. Tired of spinning my wheels. Workin' my fingers to the bone. Always behind. It's the first part of the sappy chorus about living life full and the good stuff and making choices. Maybe a Johnny Cash song. Or June Carter. Or Hank Williams (Sr). Or Lyle Lovett. Or even Patty Loveless. But not Kenny Chesney. Or Tim McGraw. Because I don't enjoy their music and I know that I have now totally alienated myself.

On most days I make a million little choices that either advance me or hold me back from getting toward tomorrow. And when I'm feeling sorry for myself, the choices to rest or do something creative or read ALWAYS mean that the next day suffers in the form of lack of preparation or the messy signs of life all around my house.

Today I am feeling it especially so. I have been believing that the change in venue for our lives will bring peace and slow and simple. It will. When I fine-tune the little daily things like should the keys live here? Or here? Which space is closest to the door so that someone won't drop them right here on my pretty entry table within the reach of chubby toddler fingers? Fingers that recently tried to stick a whole pecan up his nose, by the way.

My most beloved sanctuary is a book. It follows that I breathe deep in a library; I try to find the respite I need on its shelves. But. Life gets in the way and sometimes three weeks is not enough. Sometimes I finish a book in a day but can't get back for a week.

This summer I want books. And a cushion for my patio chairs. So I can sit out there early in the morning and stare at the leaves and the wooden fence and listen to the fire truck ladder blast air as it is pumped up and down in the station that backs up to our house. And read. If I want to.

I think it is time I read these. We are working through these as a read-aloud. They were Tom's when he was little, which I love. I also think this book is timely. And I think this book would speak to my heart. And. I will succumb to this crazy phenomenon by finishing the series with this and this once my mom buys them and finishes them because I am too cheap to buy the hardcover and the waiting list at the library is in the hundreds.

girl meets lamp

2009-05-27T16:41:00.006-04:00

One girl who needs a new lamp + one husband who is tight with his budget = a trip to the thrift store.

This house is a little bigger. And surrounded by trees. It doesn't get great light. I love lamps. So, on Saturday my 6 1/2 year old son and I headed over to my favorite His House location. His House is our local version of Goodwill.

I fell in love. I fell in love with a lamp that looked like it walked right out of my grandparents' house with the mustardy shag carpeting and matching swivel, rocking armchairs that were upholstered in pea green tweed WITH! the plastic covers at the top for protection. My sweet little friend at the store said he'd give me the lamp and the awesome drum shade for $10. I walked straight up to the cash register.

I did not want to paint it:

But, I decided that without paint it really was looking like something straight out of The Brady Bunch or Charlie's Angels or Three's Company.

I went to Wal Mart and bought a $3.00 can of spray paint and a lamp harp for $5.00. Which, I'm sorry, seems awful steep, but I am not one of those girls who finds things like that at thrift stores and garage sales. I miss those little treasures. Anyhow, I hit it with the spray paint and this is what I get to enjoy everyday:

I would really love to post a close-up, but this lamp is huge. It might be a little too big. I don't care. I love it. Ok, just one more picture. For scale purposes.

Hmm. I think I should have closed the playroom door.

*The Nester is having a little lamp party today. Head over there to see even more lamp transformations.

nesting

2009-05-20T12:23:00.000-04:00

Down time right now consists of a little bit of housework and a little bit of nesting. I might get one thing done a day, but it is still fun! This is what my kitchen looked like this morning:

I'm pretty sure I mentioned the aqua-ish tile earlier. This post is not about the tile, but it is so prominent that I didn't know if I could not at least acknowledge it.

I like to have lamps in the kitchen because I don't love overhead lighting. I was trying to hide the cord for the lamp but it was just looking cluttered. And like I just threw a bunch of random things up on the counter.

Then I saw this picture on a little decorating blog I read:
This is a rental home that she is helping decorate. I liked how the trays/basket were decorative without being cluttery. And, if there is one thing I have it is baskets. Many, many baskets. Here's my attempt:

I am liking this alot better! This second picture shows the soft green on the walls a little better. I am wondering about that little aqua vase. Does it look out of place?

an everyday thing

2009-05-19T10:10:00.008-04:00

We moved three weeks ago. This new house has been such a blessing in big ways and little ways. The past two houses we have lived in were built in 1910 and 1930. Electricity was sort of an afterthought. That meant that there might be two outlets in a room. If there were, they were in the oddest places like next to a door or in a corner. Now. Now! In our bedroom alone we have FIVE! outlets. I am not sure what ten electrical items we could possibly need in this room? This one is in our closet. I know it seems little, but I love being able to arrange a room based on what I like instead of what needs to be plugged in.

And, because, this is an everyday thing to be thankful for, I'm linking up to tuesdays unwrapped at chatting at the sky.

the bub

2009-05-15T16:31:00.003-04:00

Just some random pictures of the oldest child. He has been missing a little here lately.

Here, he is (on the left) actually passing another batter from his own team. Tom was his coach this year. I don't know. Somehow this is not surprising and somewhere deep inside I know that Tom was all, "Yeah!" Even though as the coach he couldn't really condone it. I also might have heard the bub encouraging another teammate who was running to first base by yelling, "Hustle! Hustle!" Again. Not surprising considering the source (his father).

everyday encyclopedia, page two

2009-05-13T14:19:00.001-04:00

This is a frankle. A frankle is one of the small, brownish spots on the skin that are caused by deposition of pigment and that increase in number and darken on exposure to sunlight. Sounds just like a freckle. Unless you live with this girl:

Then it is a frankle.

done but just getting started

2009-05-11T14:28:00.002-04:00

Last Saturday night I sat in my in-laws' truck clutching my iron as tears brimmed up and over. We were making one last trip and we were anything but done with the moving process. I had a moment where I saw myself holding on to that iron so tightly and I realized that I have a long way yet to walk on the pilgrimage of letting go.

That first night after you move, the one where you straddle both houses, the one where you want so much to settle into the new but can't until you've put a pretty punctuation mark on the old, is the hardest part for me. It's that moment where you think it might not get done.

But there is nothing like the feeling of a full night's rest and a day of family time to refresh you and make you realize that it's ok. I knew it as I death-grip clung to my iron. I have to let go. To let others do and not feel the need to worry over them or their doing. I knew it on Saturday but believed it on Sunday. And. We did it. We moved from start to finish in one week. By start I mean one box packed. By finish I mean my husband is picking up the last five things in the yard this very minute. I believe it is a personal record.

if you are me

2009-04-30T15:46:00.002-04:00

you were sitting at dinner last night when your husband decided to turn your world upside down. He might have said something like, "I was thinking that we might could be moved in our house by Saturday." As in, staying there and with most everything there. If you are me then you have been waiting and waiting for them to finish the house and for there to be some kind of plan. If you are me you have been packing here and there but have not done too much because, hello, you have to live here while you are waiting.

So. We are moving in two days. I have made one trip. We're making another one when my nappers wake up and then Tom will be home and we can pack in as many trips as daylight will allow.

I don't guess I'll be online that much over the next week or so.

teeny tiny snippet

2009-04-28T17:22:00.008-04:00

I have been tending to a sick little four-year-old the past two days. She has finally turned the corner. This morning, while she was leaning over the toilet, she said with so much conviction, "Mama? This is no fun." And through tears and laughter I said, "No, baby girl, it's not." Just wanted to remember that.

It's a little late, but I'm linking up to Emily at Chatting at the Sky. It's Tuesday and she's encouraging us to notice the beauty in the everyday.

forever food

2009-04-27T11:13:00.003-04:00

I had this grand idea that I would go around and visit y'all to tell you thanks for letting me know that I'm not alone in my struggle to let go of doing. But. Life happened and some it was yucky and I just didn't get to. So. Thank you! Sometimes I barely have time to read a blog post thorougly much less make a comment on one, so I appreciate the time it took. I am so glad to know that there are others who are fighting the urge to turn everything into a bullet list. I believe that God can bring freedom from that mentality!

Now. I am going to take a huge turn here. Because the other night I was thinking about foods that I could eat over and over until the end of time amen. I think I started the list because I was making rice and I love, love, love, love rice. And then I started to think about how I would eat just rice and butter in college. And then I thought about how much I still like that. And then I started to think about other foods that I never tire of. So. Here is a little list:

-rice with butter
-Totino's party pizzas
-movie popcorn
-banana pudding
-toast
-strawberry cobbler
-taquitos (but not from a real restaurant, just the cheap and greasy frozen kind)
-Cinnamon Toast Crunch
-avacados

There you have it. A list of nine forever foods. Only one of them is even remotely healthy.

this is love: that He first loved us

2009-04-20T15:46:00.007-04:00

Lately I have been overwhelmed by the fact that God could actually be getting glory from my little life. Every corner of my house screams of things I've left unfinished. Every cabinet opened reminds me of what I don't accomplish during the day. Today the service man for our air conditioner came to do some maintenance. They ALWAYS come when my house is a complete mess. I'm talking the kind of mess where I am running around in front of him sliding toys behind doors and stuffing unmentionables into drawers. Today I just left it all. It's not that we always live in mess. It is Monday and Mondays are always messy.

The truth is that I habitually focus more on the mess or the unaccomplished or the undone more than I do the living and laughing and loving. I read something two weeks ago that God keeps whispering over me like those big black billboards that say "Love, God." A mark of the indwelling of the Holy Spirt is being loved and loving. Being ABLE to be loved and to love.

Somewhere in my life I made being loved about performing. It is hard for me to receive love when I know what a failure I can be. So, I focus on doing and hoping that it is enough for someone to overlook my flaws and allow me to be part of their lives. God is pulling that weed right now and I am learning to accept that He loves me because of who He is. There is no one thing I can do or be. There is no one thing I NEED to do or be. I cannot add to the cross and I can't justify myself. I am learning to be able to be loved by Him and by others.

The thing about doing is that it starts to turn the ones you love into items on a checklist. You start to think that if you just keep it together and wash the dishes and clean the house and cook the food and, and, and. You start to think that if you do all of those things, it will be enough to cover your flaws and that you will be loving. God is blowing this one up for me. I have to stop thinking that the things I do make me valuable to the ones I love and the ones who love me. Loving is about letting them see me fail and leave things undone and make a mess literally and spiritually. It is about esteeming their love enough to not try to add to it with my efforts.

I am just beginning to accept that this is His glory. All of us, His beloved, being loved by Him and loving each other. When it's easy. When it's hard. When it hurts. When we know that we fall short and loving and being loved anyway.

I think this is Grace working in my life. It is God whispering to me to stop and be loved and be Loved.

And I am going to do something that I've never done before. I want to hear from y'all. I am worried that no one will comment, but I am going to ask anyway because, well, I guess it would be good to hear that there are others learning this lesson or who have learned this lesson. I don't care if I know you or not.

do you tumbl?

2009-04-14T15:09:00.002-04:00

So. You know how you sometimes end up on a blog but you can't remember how you got there? And, you really like what you're reading and want to remember it? That happens to me all the time. I have so many random bookmarked pages in my favorites and I really don't remember what they're for. I have even more random moments where I remember that I read something somewhere and I really want to revisit it but can't remember how I got there.

Enter Tumblr. I do frequent some of the bigger blogs and I know that Tumblr is one of these new-fangled social media things. At first, I didn't think I needed it. But, you know what? It's SO GREAT! Any time I see something I want to remember, I just copy the url and paste it in my Tumblr dashboard and that's it. It's there to remember. I can even post a picture if I want to. And. AND! If you like to shop on etsy but you are lazy like me and hate logging in and adding sellers or items to your favorites, you can just link it to your tumblr blog.

Want to see what I tumbl? Go here. I am mostly using it for sewing projects, decorating stuff and recipes that I want to remember.

everyday encyclopedia, page one

2009-04-07T13:56:00.006-04:00

This is an outside baby. An outside baby is a young child who stands at the front door and signs please over and over again. He might also take his parents' keys and try to open the door. At any point during the day, if the door is opened, he will toddle as fast as he can to escape.

An outside baby often cries when he stands at the door. He MUST be outside. At. all. times. He is very persistent and quite upset when he is not allowed to exit through said door.

An outside baby knows who comes in and out the door most frequently and will often want to be held by that person so that he might be outside by proxy.

spilling out

2009-03-27T15:11:00.004-04:00

Do y'all ever feel like all of the sudden there is so much in your life that you just might burst? Like the Lord sweetly opens your eyes to see all that He has been doing and is doing? No. It's not every little thing you asked for, but when you see how much more it is you are so very humbled that you ever asked in the first place. Because those things seem so small and silly now.

That's where I am right now.

she puts the color inside of our world

2009-03-25T09:00:00.003-04:00

These recent months have brought on a good bit of growth for Mary Des. She is fiercely her own person. Not independent. Just her. She pretends now, with imagined friends. She can write the first two letters of her name. She wants to do some things for herself. At her age, Drew was doing everything for himself and writing his whole name and had been pretending for years. I don't focus on these differences to compare exactly. They just remind me how different she is and how she will not be anyone else.

The growth has been hard, too. There have been many, many minutes spent in her room attempting to gain self-control. She got my tendency to get frustrated with ease and intensity. There has been one afternoon where both of us sat in the van during a t-ball game and cried out of frustration. While our expectations are still the same, Tom and I are learning that the teaching of those expectations takes on a different form with her. I do have the benefit of having walked through a stage like this with Drew. I know we will get there.

I am so very thankful for this girl who insists that pants cannot be worn to church. Who will choose a Gamecock t-shirt and a huge white bow to wear to school. Who always asks for a braid in her hair. Who knows exactly how to aggravate her brother with a flip little "no" and does it often. Who wants to sit in my lap. Who does kung fu moves and loves to take her doll, Ruby, for walks. Who likes pink tulips. Who has her daddy's eyes, her mama's temper and her brothers wrapped. Who is four today.

the birthday countdown is on and take two

2009-03-20T15:54:00.003-04:00

The first one sort of looked like a nightgown. Didn't it? I thought it did when she tried it on. I'd been saving this pink seersucker, so I thought I'd use it for a second dress.

Also. Mary Des wants to go to McDonald's for her birthday. She wants a double cheeseburger. She saw it on tv. I guess I should be glad that it's a simple request. So. If you are looking for me on Wednesday, I'll be under the golden arches. Eating a double cheeseburger.

still life, or something like that

2009-03-16T16:53:00.006-04:00

This picture is an apt description of my life right now. I feel like since I married Tom my life has been in fast forward: six months in we bought a house, eleven months in we got pregnant, two years in we sold the house and moved to our first rectory or parsonage or whatever in the world you want to call what we live in, five years in we had another baby. It goes on and on.

We are getting ready to make our fifth move in eight years. Did you know that? I've just accepted it as a theme in our life. And, it IS fun to spread out in a new house and make it your own, sort of. Because I will always know that they aren't my own. I am learning to make them our ownish.

Every thing in my life is turned the wrong way, upside down and wedged into an impossible stack. The moving timeline of a few months just became possibly weeks. I haven't packed a thing. This sounds exactly like the last time. I know that I know that I know I will find up eventually. Soon, I'll look back and realize that we made it. I just can't be held accountable for what crazy things I say or do in the meantime.

through the hedge

2009-03-11T13:47:00.003-04:00

When I was five I had a bureau. A beautiful , worn, storied, oak bureau. It had some special woodworking on the side that created a rectangle within a rectangle. It was just my size.

That rectangle was a door. That door saw unicorns and princesses and plain ladies in fancy dresses destined for tea parties come through it. It was the beginning of every story in my early imaginations. It led me places too: to a secret garden, a dragon-inhabited cave, a meadow with a swing perched right on its edge.

On the very side of our yard there is a hedge. A waist high, squarish line of red tips with tiny little openings. It is just her size. She loves to rush through it; a door to secret gardens and princesses and ponies and every other wild thing she imagines.

Sometimes I see me in her.

first oreo

2009-03-11T13:22:00.004-04:00

party dress

2009-03-09T16:30:00.003-04:00

For her birthday. It's not pink. I hope she likes it.

baby legs, buds and blue skies

2009-03-08T21:25:00.000-04:00

life is happening here

2009-03-06T10:48:00.003-05:00

We took a walk yesterday afternoon. And this was my view. It was sweet and I had to record it; I loved the way their shadows showed themselves on the fence.

I have been working on a post about our house all week. About how God is using it teach me about Himself, His grace for me and how I try so often, and misguidedly, to earn it. Contrived sounding, I know. Still true, though.

But yesterday morning He overwhelmed us with goodness and answered prayers and changes and that post just isn't relative anymore. We are moving. Again. Around the corner this time instead of down the street. It is a good move to a better-for-us house on a quiet street. There are swings and sandboxes and places to play. There's a playroom and a study where I can create without taking over the whole house. And. PAINT! I get to choose my own paint colors. It's still a parsonage and Tom will still be working in the same place, loving on children whose hearts are thirsty. So. My choices are limited, but still, COLOR! There are also some interesting aqua tiles on the counter in the kitchen; I'll discover the solution to that later.

The walk we took was to check out our new house. We chose rooms and played in the backyard and felt that queasiness that comes from realizing that we are in fact moving once again. It was when we got home that I realized all the goodness God has been working in my heart over the past 2 1/2 years. This move was hard for me. I was attached to the house before this one. There was humbling. Learning to make do. Saying no to comparison. Waiting, waiting and waiting some more. There was no and not yet and maybe soon. And when I sat down in MY bedroom on MY bed in MY home, there were sweet, sweet tears at the way God had turned my heart. It is going to be hard to leave this place.

exactly one month shy of four

2009-02-25T20:45:00.007-05:00

Last summer I took apart and reworked a wrap skirt for the boutique I sew for. It was really cute, but required a good bit of fabric. I got permission to resize what we'd come up with for a child. This skirt is the result of that process. I took Mary Des' measurements and had to do all the math myself.

We call it the magic skirt. I used some fabric a friend had given me for one side. It's actually reversible; I used green gingham on the other side. I didn't get pictures of the green side because it took a good bit of convincing to get her into this outfit.
I am trying to keep my resolution for this year to take better pictures of what I make. These are hugely better than the first group I took, but I can see now that I was standing the sun, so in some of the shots the fabric is washed out looking.

I think this skirt is going to become one of those go-to items this summer. She likes that it's magic and I love seeing her little knobby knees sticking out.

we took the long way home

2009-02-22T15:38:00.007-05:00

About a week and a half ago, we bought a new (to us) van. This post is really not about that, but can I take just a minute to thank the person who invented power sliding doors? I am not exaggerating when I say that the moment that van pulled up into our driveway I began a ten minute revery of opening and closing the doors. This thing is very fancy-like and I just love to go anywhere in it. At first, I tried not to be too excited about it because it is just a thing. But then I decided that it is a thing, but even more it is a blessing and I can enjoy it a little bit.

What that has to do with this post is that the van came from Marietta. Just a few miles from where my dad works and a few more minutes from where my parents live. My dad test-drove it, evaluated it and haggled over it for us. All we had to do was drive the barren stretch of I-20 to Atlanta to pick it up. And pay for it.

So. On the big pick up day, Tom and one of his friends were nearing Marietta when he called me and asked me about my directions. Directions that my daddy gave me. The thing about my father is that he has about five ways to get to one place. We love you Daddy! So much! And that's why Tom called. To check and double-check the directions because they were a little different than what was online.

He found the dealership and made it back, but our conversation got me thinking about my childhood. Not only does my father have at least five ways to get one place, but he usually calls them shortcuts. The reality is that some (I will not say all because he does read this blog) of the shortcuts are so much longer than the direct, obvious route. The best example of this is the route we took to church when I was growing up. Our church was on the complete opposite side of town from our home. Right now I can think of half a dozen different ways we had to get there. It changed many times over the course of my childhood, so many times that now that I have been removed from that city for almost 15 years I'm not sure I could even find the direct route.

I can't recall being overly frustrated by Daddy's shortcuts. I'm sure they addled my mom over the years. What I realized the other day is that I am my father's daughter. I get tired of doing the same thing over and over again. I like to change things up often. I keep Tom on his toes by constantly rearranging. I welcome new adventures. Consequently, I fail a good bit. That's a hard thing when you are a teensy bit insecure, but I guess my need for keeping things fresh is greater than my insecurity. I guess, too, I come by it honestly.

The most compelling reason I think my father set out to discover his shortcuts that were actually long ways is because he welcomed new sights and got bored with taking four-lane roads almost taken over by stores and signs and cement stuff. If he hadn't taken the time to discover new ways, we would have missed out on seeing small little houses and people living their lives and trees in bloom. Beauty.

The same could be said for my life in recent years. It seems like every path we have taken has been the long way. It's been indirect and, honestly, I feel sometimes like we are the only people traveling the road. But, if God let us take the wide and uninteresting path, we would have missed out on all this. Beauty. Life. Him.

ten minutes to a room you love: mantel makeover edition

2009-02-19T08:38:00.003-05:00

I know I have shared before that one of my daily reads is Nesting Place. Since we live in what is essentially a rectory, we have chosen not to paint the walls or any other thing that involves sinking our money and time into this home. Because of that, I got in a little rut where I was frustrated because I love to decorate and rearrange and I wasn't doing any of that. Reading about The Nester's philosophy of using what you have and not letting the pursuit of perfection paralyze you has given me some fresh freedom when it comes to fluffing up our home.

Over the past few weeks, The Nester has been featuring a series about simple changes and rearrangements that you can make to breathe some life into a room. I took on changing the look of our mantel. I only have one before picture because I started this process as soon as I took down my Christmas decorations and I am too lazy to go back and recreate what it looked like before. Pre-makeover: brown mirror, two cream urns, eucalyptus sprigs, mantel clock in the middle.

First, I decided I wanted to stand our mirror up lengthwise and paint it black. I already had the spray paint. This part of the process did take me longer than ten minutes, but I did it in ten minute sittings. So. I can still be part of the party. It is so very not perfect.

Then, I moved a couple of things around, took down one of my urns and filled the other one with twigs and little handmade birds. I stole this idea from several other blogs, but I think it originated here. I used scraps of fabric I already had and took the filling for the birds out of a pillow that I don't use anymore. The twigs are from our yard.

If I were going to summarize this project, I would say that I moved from a sort of generic look to one that is much more personal. Mostly, I just really like it!

Now, go on over and read about what other people are doing with ten minutes!

the best policy

2009-02-17T12:47:00.003-05:00

I was going to post about the pile of sewing projects I have waiting on me. I'm pretty excited about them. But, if I'm being honest, I don't really know what to do with this here blog. It has expanded a little since I began and now I'm not sure where it fits in my life. Maybe this is why I come about thisclose to deleting it every five or six months. I am going to push through that, though, and trust that I need this little space to spill out the hurly-burly mess that is my thoughts.

Following in those honest footsteps, I would like to warn everyone that the me that says every single wrong thing at every single wrong moment has been flittering around all crazy-like over the past few days. I used to be a teacher and as someone who has posed a query in front of a gaggle of under eager learners, I cannot, in a group setting, let a question go unanswered for a painful amount of time. So. There's that. But, I have been doing really well on that front lately. I might as well go on and reveal all of my craziness and confess that I actually pray before I go into group settings that I won't answer every question. Because those other people are always more mature than me and I really need to hear what they have to say.

My struggle has been more in the saying things I think are funny area and then saying things to make up for the unfunny things that involve total embarassment for me. I also have a tendency to misunderstand what people say. It's as if my mind can only stop and listen for a short time--a quota on my listening, if you will--and then I only know half of what the person says. Well, you can probably guess that my responses are sometimes puzzling to people when I'm in this wrong words/wrong moment mode.

This phase seems to come in waves and intensifies to the point that I just want to crawl into the back of my closet and hide behind the hanging clothes like I did when I was five. That is where I am right now: in a very humbling state of self-imposed word economy.

bah humbug

2009-02-15T14:03:00.005-05:00

I need to tell you something: I do not heart Valentine's Day. Please don't hate me. Or stop reading. It's not that I am against it, I just don't get all excited about it. The fact that I feel this way is shocking even to me since I spent all of my teenage and college years single. I did not have a valentine once. Not one year. I longed for one every time the holiday came around and now I've had one for nine years and the truth is, I sort of dread it.

It has a bit to do with the fact that by the time February 14th is on my radar, we have celebrated my birthday, Christmas, our anniversary and Tom's birthday within the span of 2 1/2 months. I seriously cannot think of one thing I want or need. It also has a good bit to do with expectations. Tom and I are very different and we approach gift-giving in opposite ways. Does the fact that I got an umbrella for our first Valentine's Day as a married couple paint a clear picture? Really, it was sweet. It was a cute little gingham one that I had noticed somewhere and he remembered. It was a little thing that I never would have bought for myself and I really enjoyed it. Just not as a Valentine's gift.

Over the years I have learned to change my expectations and we have started a little tradition of rebelliousness. We do not do fancy dinners. Mostly we eat at little local dives and stay up late together (a gift if you know me). This year we went out as a family on Friday night and have a date of sorts planned for the end of next week. So, we ate in and decided to go to Target.

On the way there, I started to feel so sorry for us. That here we were with our kids in tow, on the way to a mega store-a store I love, granted-on a day devoted to doing special things for loved ones. We pulled in to a gas station to fill up the tank (on our new van!) and I looked over to see an elderly woman wiping her car off with paper towels. Something about that was sweet and, even though she had no husband with her, I imagined that she took care of it so well in his honor. I decided we needed to do something to celebrate.

This is where things tend to go awry. Because I like to try new things and Tom does not. Like going to hear mountain music in a small country town when no one else in attendance was under 70. I'm also the one who wants to try new restaurants like the one around the corner where we paid too much money for cold fried chicken and I stepped on a piece of glass that stayed in my foot for most of the afternoon. I also like to try to convince Tom that we should move to Chicago short-term so that he can get his masters in urban ministry. That one's actually a good one except for the fact that he doesn't do school so much.

Last night was a little more simple: we made cookies and I decided we should list three highlights from our year together. Where it started to go off-track was when Tom listed something that I wasn't even involved in. This is just the sort of murky water that we can't seem to wade toward each other in. We approach life differently; I knew it before we even began. And I realized that it's also the reason I don't anticipate Valentine's Day. It's because my husband takes time every day to tell me how much he loves me and how beautiful I am. He appreciates in the present. I save up and analyze and draw parallels and take life a little too seriously. I can accept that, the daily affirmations, and am working toward being more like him in this regard. It's the pressure of the day that gets to me, the part where I try to make us something that we're not.

Maybe it's not the holiday after all. Maybe it's just me. Either way, I think I'll take our anti-celebrations and simple traditions. Until next year. Because even though this year's uncomplicated plan didn't become what I expected it did inspire reflections on our marriage and a sweet reminder of why I love this man.

also. he walks.

2009-02-11T10:01:00.001-05:00

Somebody flipped the "on" switch and he will not be contained.

where we are

2009-02-11T09:58:00.002-05:00

This picture pretty much sums up the past week or so with this girl. Girls, they are different. She is in a funk. But, we will get there.

something happened

2009-02-05T17:16:00.003-05:00

My son can walk. He can go anywhere while holding one hand. He just won't step out and teeter-totter on his own. As a result, I spend countless hours holding his hand while he walks up and down our hallway trying to keep up with his siblings. Even though he's capable and ready and the fun that he'll have walking is so palpable, he simply won't go.

I thought about how much I am like him last night as I walked him down the hall to his sister's room one more time. About how I know that I know that he is ready. About how much he will love the independence it will bring him. About how much God wants me to teeter-totter out on my own. But, I'm just like him. I continue to hold God's hand with insecurity instead of risking a little for Him and His glory and my growth. Because the falling, in my mind, and its accompanying pain outweighs the reward of growth and closeness to my God. I cannot see past it.

For the past two years I have asked and prayed and begged God to do something in my life. It started as a prayer for Him to be huge. Eventually it became a prayer for Him to do anything. A whisper. Something. And, when Whitt came last year, I was seriously broken. I learned that there was a long way to go until I came to the end of myself and there was a lot of me in the way. I learned that my failures do not define me. My successes don't either. I am merely a reflection of my Creator. I saw that, after all this time, I still don't have the answers. I am not perfect. I don't even understand perfect. Because it isn't what the world says it is.

I started to hold God's hand and walk with His assistance. I have to say that at times it was compulsory. I needed to get where I was going and I couldn't do it on my own. In the midst of that needing and arguing and stumbilng, my something came. I didn't recognize that it was my something at first. It wasn't a whisper or a loud rushing in. It wasn't an answer to my requests and wishes. It wasn't a making-it-right of all the really tough things in my life. God opened up a creativity in me that I've never experienced before. My something came in sewing.

God let me experience him as Creator as I became a creator. Not just a creator who follows a pattern, but a pattern maker. After dreaming something up and working at it repetitively and making it be, I can only begin to glimpse how He feels about me. How He dreamed us up and believed in what He would make us and wove us together. How He continues to look upon us with love and pride and intimacy because He spent time working over us.

And, this year my something can be bigger. If I weren't too scared to teeter-totter off. I don't want to be like this man, with his one talent, who said: "'I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you'" (Matthew 25: 24-25). He was afraid of failure and his master's heavy hand. The reality of failure is real, but my Master's hand, while it can be heavy, is healing. And there is the reward of leaning on Him and growing in Him and witnessing Him going above and beyond. If I will just let go.

there was a party

2009-01-30T13:06:00.010-05:00

Hi. Did y'all wonder if we celebrated? We did! And, honestly, after composing this post I can understand why Tom won't let me get a fancy camera. I took ten pictures. And I even let him take the camera so that there would still be pictures when I got distracted. Not one person aside from Whitt is represented in these photos. Unless you count the back of my head and the backs of Drew and Mary Des' heads. I want to take pictures. I really do! It's just that I want them to be pretty and then I get all compulsive about one shot and all of the sudden the party is over and well, you can see the results. Whitt had fun. We went small this year and the invitations I showed earlier were printed purely out of guilt over the fact that I wasn't doing a big party. I put regrets on them even though it was basically family and they all know how to get in touch with me three ways. It's just that I wanted it to look like I planned a little.

Man, this baby is funny! He is just fine in all the normal ways. But he is a Parker. So, he says four words: mama, daddy, stop and uh-oh. I'm guessing that those are the four words he hears most throughout the day. I can say with confidence that stop, as in, "Stop that," is directed mostly at him. He can walk anywhere holding just one hand but won't walk on his own. He is going to be that child who is on the handsy side. He tackles and wrestles like a champ. He amuses us wildly with his chattering because he says things like, "blurja murja," and "basa basa ba." He is all the things I posted in my week devoted to him and then some.

sunday's child

2009-01-18T12:52:00.001-05:00

is one.

happy first birthday, whitt!

saturday's child

2009-01-17T20:00:00.000-05:00

is wily and fun.

friday's child

2009-01-16T22:00:00.000-05:00

adores his brother and sister.

i don't love this blurry, dark picture, but it will just have to do!

thursday's child

2009-01-15T22:00:00.001-05:00

is tired of pictures.

wednesday's child

2009-01-14T17:09:00.003-05:00

is at home in the bustle.

tuesday's child

2009-01-13T09:00:00.000-05:00

is watched like a hawk.

monday's child

2009-01-12T09:00:00.004-05:00

can almost walk.

four things for 2009

2009-01-08T16:04:00.004-05:00

1. to see our family in Columbia more often.

2. to pursue my friendships more.

3. to flesh out my sewing into an actual business (web page, real tags, etc), participate in a real craft show and devote some time to setting up a quality shop on etsy.

4. to ask with hope and faith knowing that if God's will is to say no that there will be sweetness and growth in that no.

hurts my heart just a little bit

2009-01-07T10:35:00.002-05:00

but these sort of make up for it

2009-01-04T15:26:00.002-05:00

One of the old friends I have reconnected with through blogging is Aron Cannon Smith. We sort of had different friend groups in college, but we were both involved in the college ministry at Shandon. At least, I think that's how I know her. Anyhow, about a year ago, we connected and I have been reading her blog ever since.

Her husband, Collin, is a portrait photographer. He takes some pretty amazing pictures. About a month ago, Aron mentioned that they were running a little contest on their blog. He was looking for models and the first ten entries would win a free limited session. I entered. I did not, even for a minute, think I would win. I have entered every one of the Pioneer Woman's contests for Kitchenaid mixers over the past year and a half. Haven't won. I never win door prizes. I never win anything. I didn't even think about the fact that they are in Florence and we are in Columbia since I was pretty sure I wouldn't get the free session.

Guess what? I did! I went down on a Saturday and met with Collin and Aron. They were so gracious and the kids really liked it. I was kind of surprised that Drew and Mary Des were shy. However, Whitt totally made up for it. He was quite the ham. I was so pleased with the results; I ended up using one of the group shots for Christmas presents. Everyone loved them. I haven't linked to the slideshow until now because I didn't want to ruin the surprise.

These pictures are a little different from the standard smocked outfit portrait (which Collin also does beautifully) but I like that. Actually, I absolutely love them! Thanks, Collin and Aron!

christmas recap

2009-01-03T16:52:00.004-05:00

We had a busy Christmas this year that involved lots of parties and outings and family gatherings. I don't think this will be a shock, but I'll say it anyway. I didn't take very many pictures. I didn't even get a picture of all of us together on Christmas Eve. I get so easily distracted and there is quite a handful crawling around every corner of our house currently. Here's what I do have.

We got to visit with Santa. Drew went through the line and then ran off to play before I could snap a shot. Tom was walking around with Whitt somewhere. Is this bad? That I don't even have a picture of all three of them? It's just that meeting Santa hasn't been that big of a deal.

After receiving her vanity. Notice the unbrushed hair.

Tree shot.

Kids' Tree 2008. I didn't help one bit with the placement of ornaments. Can you tell? Next year I want to add tinsel and colored lights.

I came across this recently and I would really love to do it next year. I think it would force me to document more about what we do and give us something to look back on as the children get older. There is one problem. I don't scrapbook. That and the fact that in my mind I can create something that looks like this but in reality I can't. Not even close. I might try anyway, in my own way.

still life: eight years

2009-01-01T15:36:00.006-05:00

Drew slept until 8:00 this morning (not my other two early risers, though). It was sort of weird. At 8:30 we were all still in our jammies and I was trying to convince Tom to go pick up breakfast.

Somehow that turned into me making pancakes and bacon. I'm not sure how he does that. Gets things for free or charms his way into getting others to do for him. He's been that way as long as I've known him. He has a collection of free t-shirts from college that I am still trying to get him to let go of. Some of them are from events that I'm pretty sure he didn't even attend. And we won't talk about the intramural t-shirts, except to say that there might be at least two for every SEASON (spring and fall) of every YEAR he was in college. Then there is the video made for him. It features just about everybody in Columbia at the time, including Lou Holtz. How does he do that? Endear himself like that?

This fact was just stewing in my brain-about five minutes into making his breakfast-when he came into the kitchen and quietly took over for me. That's how and it's something I'm still trying to learn from him. How to serve with love and no expectations. Maybe in another eight years I'll make some headway.

go straight to bethlehem

2008-12-24T06:03:00.002-05:00

There are moments in everyday life that end in me thinking that I'm not going to make it or that I can't do this thing or that I am never going to be a finished work. It's all relative. I have friends who are wading through thicker sludge: they are single parents, they have sick children, they have lost a parent, they have lost their job. I know that in the middle of a difficult circumstance, the end seems impossible. And sometimes the middle is so long, that you start to just accept it as the end.

Then I think about how the shepherds in the Christmas story reacted to what the angels proclaimed to them. When they heard the good news of Christ's birth, they didn't push it aside or doubt it's possibiliy or refuse to go out of fear for themselves. They said, "Let us go straight to Bethlehem then, and see this thing that has happened which the Lord has made known to us" (Luke 2:15). They went straight to Bethlehem. I wonder if they feared for even a moment that this impossible thing might not be for them. After all, they were the reviled of their cities; isolated to rural areas because they were considered coarse and dirty and rough. The Word makes it fairly clear that they didn't wonder. They accepted that this miraculous thing was for them, too.

That's what happens when you encounter Jesus. Even though it's a foregone conclusion that He's going to shake up your world, the love story of His life and the possibility of life in Him is eternally attractive. I think that's part of the story of His birth. The angel Gabriel declares it to Mary; that "nothing will be impossible with God" (Luke 2:37). Not coming to Him as we are: rough, coarse and dirty. Not healing. Not reconciliation. Not surviving financial distress. And certainly not everyday worries and struggles.

That's why I need to do what the shepherds did over and over again. With each everyday impossibility, I need to go straight to Bethlehem and see this thing that God did for me.

Merry Christmas!

every once in a while i have a bright idea

2008-12-18T14:34:00.008-05:00

I have had the hardest time figuring out what to get Mary Des for Christmas this year. At first, I thought I might make her some dress up clothes, but between both grandmothers, I don't think she's going to need any more costumes. Then, I thought I might get her a dollhouse. The problem was that what I really wanted to get her was a dollhouse for a much older girl. One that I could play with and decorate and drive her crazy with because I was all, "Don't touch!"

Finally, I settled on a vanity. One where she could pretend to do her hair and put on make up and get all princessy. However, they are pretty expensive. I started to think about a friend of mine who always finds great pieces of furniture second-hand and decided to look around for something used. I hit both Goodwill stores on our side of town. There might be a secret to when you go or what store you go in, because at two stores, I saw a total of four pieces of furniture. Combined.

Next, I decided to try His House. It's a local version of Goodwill. I went on Monday morning with Whitt on my hip. He was missing one shoe because he can wriggle into just about any dangerous position in the cart at Wal Mart and he somehow lost his Robee(z?) when we were there first thing. It had been a rough morning between losing the shoe, looking for the shoe, trying to get him to sit down, bribing him with puffs and just trying to get everything on my list.

Anyhow, we made it out alive and I decided to head on to His House. I knew that I might not find a true vanity, but I was willing to think outside of the box. I found several little sofa tables, but this one was perfect because: 1. it was already painted, reducing the effort I'd have to put in and 2. the man wanted $5 for it. Also, he told me "Happy Jesus' Birthday," when I left. I loved that! I think it was so cheap because it isn't old looking but it's solid wood. I snagged this thing up and was sanding it by nap time. The picture is actually pre-sanding. It had been banged around a little.

One feature that I was pretty sure that I wanted was a drawer. I have it on good authority that Santa might be bringing some princess hair and make up toys (like a curling iron and hairdryer). I wanted a place to put those things. I also wanted a place for a basket to put all of the headbands and tiaras and scarves and magical hair accessories in. The only other thing I wanted was to be able to put a little skirt on it and make it look kind of fancy-like.

Tom definitely raised some eyebrows when I started on this little project. I love how it turned out. It's not too tall, but she's not too tall either. It will work for several years and then we can take the skirt off and it can become a little table for her room. I painted it barely pink and added some fabric from her nursery curtains. I hated to cut the fabric, but it's been in storage since we moved into this house 2 1/2 years ago, so it was time to use it in some way. I just stapled it to the bottom of the drawer. For now she'll have to use a handheld mirror until I can find an affordable table top one.

The best part is that I painted this thing right in front of her eyes. It's been sort of foggy and rainy and humid here, so I had to paint in the kitchen. She has no clue it's for her. She hasn't even asked about it, which I can't believe. She even went with me to buy the pink paint. Not one question about the pink table in the corner of the kitchen.

Now that it's finished I have it tucked away in the dining room with some fabric over it. I am really looking forward to the moment when she realizes what it is and gets to playing with it. This project has definitely been one of my favorite parts of Christmas this year!

tuesday

2008-12-16T16:57:00.006-05:00

drew at school.
baby sleeping.
mary des and mama still in jammies.
watching cars.
eating chips.
laughing.
"writing" our names.
writing "m" over and over again.

getting dressed.
making quick grocery store run.
trying to get whitt to sit down.
just for one second.
please.
chatting with neighbor.

baby sleeping again.
mary des "resting."
stopping new mom and brand new baby as they walk down street.
loving on him.
making dinner for friend.
wrapping christmas present for party.
no tape.

listening to drew and whitt play together.
watching drew play air guitar.
listening to him read to us.
wondering how we get through the day without him.

children cheering.
daddy's home.

tuesday.

favorite things

2008-12-12T10:22:00.003-05:00

Some of my favorite Christmas things:

1. an ornament my mom cross-stitched in 1979.

2. one of about ten sterling Christmas crosses that my grandmother passed down to me.

3. the last of a couple of clip-on bird ornaments that were on my grandmother's tree.

4. a forest of fabric Christmas trees.

5. the nativity set my grandma and grandpa cast and painted.

All I wanted for Christmas

2008-12-10T15:14:00.002-05:00

I have been wanting to put a lighted garland on my mantel for so very long. The problem is that we live in a 1930s bungalow. That means that electricity was an afterthought and we have two plugs. One over there. And one way over there. As you can see, this year I got my Christmas wish. I was lurking around on the Nesting Place and read her post about garlands. I decided to make it happen this year (by hot glueing the extension cord to the wall).

I have a small affinity for twigs.

Some other random stuff I stuck in there.
Here, I was trying to be all artsy and use my macro setting. I think that's what it's called.

Full on shot.

My friend Jodi made this little sign for me. I love it!

everyday unwrapped

2008-12-10T12:49:00.006-05:00

The holidays are always Tom's busiest time of the year. I know that after six years of being the wife of an activities director at a children's home. I know it, but I don't know it know it. Every year I get overwhelmed by balancing the everyday with the parties and the giving and shopping while he's having to work most evenings.

This year hasn't been any different. Up until yesterday I hadn't bought one Christmas present. We didn't get our tree until Monday afternoon and it still doesn't have ornaments on it. It has lights, though, because I need my quality time with my twinkle lights. In summary, the past two weeks have been blurred with activity and the next two weeks will be the same. Except more.

One thing that I have been hearing over and over is to delight in the everyday things that God has given me.

To delight in our ramshackle gingerbread house.

To delight in this ensemble that my son chose for school this morning.

To delight in the fact Mary Des closed a prayer this week with, "Have a wonderful day!"

To delight in this impy little grin. He stood up in his chair to get these. Even though the strap is as tight as it will go. Escape artist!

And, most of all, to delight in the fact that one of the girls at the home missed me at a party and asked about me. Because that is why God has us here, living this way; so that we can love on and inch our way into the lives of some sweet, hurting children and tell them about the Healer of broken hearts.

Creating holiday traditions

2008-11-29T15:17:00.003-05:00

Every year about this time I get excited but also a little nervous because I really want the holiday season to be magical for my children like it was for me as a child. I start to go on and on about making memories and I just about drive Tom to the brink. I remember so well how I loved every minute of Christmas; how my mom and dad made it seem like it would last forever.

The thing is that making memories and having traditions is a real burden I have for my family. I guess you could also call it being deliberate. I want for my children to carry with them a strong sense of who they are: children of the King, people who can find their greatest fans right here at home, brothers and sister who are always connected and a safe place for each other. I think I am starting to sound a little new-agey. It's not that; it's that I want them to always come back home no matter what mistakes they make. I want them to remember the little things we did along the way and know that Tom and I valued what God gave us.

My parents did little things like not wrapping Santa's gifts and putting out paper luminaries each year. They drove us around after the Christmas Eve service to look at lights. They made us take turns and open one gift at a time. We wore Christmas jammies and woke them up at the crack of dawn. My dad always took extra long to get ready, mostly on purpose, and we always had to wait because everyone had to go into the den at the same time.

They also did big things like taking us to the Biltmore House every year. We would drink hot chocolate and eat ginger snaps with strawberry cream cheese while we waited in line. We listend to Christmas music on the drive to Asheville. We would shop at the Elves' Workshop at Haywood Mall and we got to pick out the presents ourselves.

I remember so much about my childhood Christmases and I remember the first year I realized what it was like as a parent. Then I understood even more why my parents formed their own little traditions.

So, we do little things. We watch the holiday specials, staying up late while we drink hot chocolate in our Christmas jammies. We make a gingerbread house. We bake for our neighbors and friends. We make a birthday cake for Jesus and don't put Him in the manger until Christmas morning. We decorate our little tacky kids' tree.

We do bigger things, too. We attend the Christmas Eve service at Epworth. We go to the Lights Before Christmas. We use our advent calender, opening up a door each night and reading a little of the Christmas story. This year we picked a name off of the Prison Fellowship Angel Tree-a child close to Drew's age and we'll shop for him together. I hope that as our children grow, we can even take little day trips like my family did.

I already know what one of my resolutions for 2009 will be: I want to create some simple traditions to celebrate throughout the year. I loved this idea of Lori's. We did it on a smaller scale. I also love that my friend Sara has family night every Friday night. Her family members rotate whose Friday it is and, on their week, they get to plan what the family will do.

In the end, I want to look back on these years and know that I made some progress on being a good steward with the time that God has given me. A good steward with the family that God has given me.

What do y'all do? I'd love to know!

Thankful for

2008-11-26T17:08:00.002-05:00

-the way Drew said, "So, Memaw. How was your birthday?" Totally unprompted. Sweet boy.
-family that calls us, loves us, creates for us.
-the way Mary Des says very nonchalantly and oh so menacingly, "No," when Drew begs her to be the hider in hide and seek. Sassy thing.
-trying to squeeze in the last little bit of playtime at cool, crispy twilight.
-baby cackles that Whitt lets escape.
-watching Tom wrestle with the kids.
-how close my children are with their grandparents.
-Mary Des' eyes getting huge when she's so excited about something.
-hearing them plan a parade in the den.
-watching my ten-month-old wave bye-bye.
-the fact that I haven't driven Tom totally bonkers yet. Sweet (MANLY!) man.

Pigs fly

2008-11-24T10:43:00.002-05:00

And I took a good picture. Not an original one. Just a good one.

One more for the peanut gallery

2008-11-18T17:01:00.004-05:00

Apparently y'all really like posts where I detail my embarrassing behavior. So, here's more. Literally two days later. Today I participated in an out-of-town show. Since it was in the same town where I have some good friends, I decided to go up a day early and get in some visits. In the past two days:

1. As I was leaving my dear, dear friend's house (who will remain nameless because she will blame this on herself instead of my knack for making a fool of myself), she was apologizing for the fact that the porch light had just gone out. Really, it did! While I was there! I saw it. I proceeded to say, "That's totally fine. I think I can handle three steps." Then I fell. While holding Whitt. For about a second it wasn't funny. Then I just had to laugh. Her sweet husband, to his credit, did not. Yes. I find every opportunity to make others uncomfortable.

2. I stayed with family friends. I was being all nice and bringing the towel and wash cloth I had used to put on top of her washer. I had it with a load of luggage I was bringing to the car. Guess what I found in my den after Tom unloaded the van? Just guess! I stole a towel and wash cloth. One of them is monogrammed with her daughter's initials.

Y'all. I'm going to be 32 tomorrow. Really. I should be beyond this kind of stuff. Also? Mrs. Chumley, please avert your eyes. Fragments abound!

Just how I roll

2008-11-15T14:23:00.003-05:00

This morning Mary Des had an all girl, all pink party to attend. We were pretty excited and she had a blast. The thing is, I wonder how long it is going to take her to become embarassed of me at parties or just out in public. Because I:

1. flipped a whole plate of potato chips into the air and covered the floor of our friends' sun room with crumblies (as we call them).
2. realized as the birthday girl pulled two Christmas ornaments out of our present that I had brought a gift for my mother-in-law instead of for her. Even though I imagined how embarassing that would be and separated the bags so that I wouldn't get them confused. I know myself. But not that well.

Halloween

2008-11-09T17:02:00.007-05:00

Now I went and made all that progress on my picture taking, but I am going to warn you that I am about to post some pretty bad pictures. At least, I think I made progress on my picture taking.

Back to the bad pictures. Every year at Halloween I am by myself to dress the kids and get them wherever we are going. Tom has a carnival to put on and he has to be there early. So this year taking the picture was interesting because Whitt is just a teensy bit mobile (sarcasm!) and he has to be held. Taking a picture of your three kids on cement steps while your 6 year old holds your 9 month old requires speed. The thing is that if I had been still, I would have had some great pictures.

This year we skipped Daddy's work carnival and went on to our friends' annual party in Blythewood. They got to ride a horse, do hay rides, roast marshmallows and play fierce knight games on piles of mulch. I took four pictures. Total. Because I would not have made it through the night if it hadn't been for another family and my friend's mother-in-law.

Mary Des was Cinderella. Drew was a South Carolina baseball player. Whitt was the baseball.

Catchy title goes here

2008-11-06T09:50:00.003-05:00

On Monday morning I had one prayer. It was that through this show God would confirm to me whether or not all of the work I was putting into this stuff was worth it and from Him. I know that I enjoy creating, but I just didn't know if it was something that God would use to bless my family. I also didn't know if what I saw was what other people saw. I really like what I've made, but I always question whether other people will.

I took this picture right before the show started. I guess it would be obvious to say that I was nervous. There were a couple of other people there who had done shows before and I probably looked a little rinky-dink next to them. By the end of the night I was pretty much cleaned out. I have about one or two of everything left and I was overwhelmed when I looked down to see how depleted my table looked. I decided not to even look at how much I made until I could count it with Tom. I'll just leave it at this: I met my goal and then some. We were both sort of floored.

It's not really about the money (okay, it is a little because I really want to get Mary Des a dollhouse for Christmas and they are not cheap), so I'm not going to list any total. I will say, though, that I was overwhelmed. Mostly, I am so very thankful for this opportunity. At a weird, transitional time in my life where I sometimes don't have a clue what I'm supposed to be focused on in the future, God brought me this. I have learned so much more about who He is as the Creator. I can say with assurance that I have a better understanding of how He views me and loves me as His creation. And, now I get to use this talent He's given me to help my family and have fun. I'm also learning to say that, yes, I can do this and do it well. Because of Him. If you know me, then you know that that first part is hard for me. But, it's the second part that's most important anyway.

Last bit of show stuff

2008-11-04T16:25:00.006-05:00

Bag tags and wallets. Didn't get pictures of the sunglasses cases or some fabric florettes that I ended up making. The show was great and I'll post more about it soon!

With every kiss, every hug, you make me fall in love

2008-10-23T13:33:00.005-04:00

As of Saturday, Whitt is now nine months old. He is happy and active and, even though Tom doesn't like that I call him this, he is my whole bunch of trouble wrapped up in one cute package. He weighs 18 lbs 4 oz and is 27 inches tall. That puts him in the 15th percentile. We don't really care about all of that percentile stuff anymore, but I though it was funny that Dr. W. made a point to tell me about it and mention that he wasn't too worried since that's par for the course with our children. Actually, I think Whitt is our biggest baby. Drew weighed 18 lbs at one and I know that Mary Des wasn't quite 20 lbs when she was one, so I'm thinking he's going to tip the Parker scales.

Whitt is now an excellent crawler, stander, puller-upper and cruiser. He moves up down the length of the couch with confidence and has even let go several times. Walking is imminent. I was just telling a friend that even though I am well adjusted to having three, he is throwing me for a loop because I'm constantly checking on him. Why? Because this child loves to eat paper. I like to call him our little baby goat. He loves paper so very, very much. He also loves to crawl under furniture and wildly swing cords. He is learning the meaning of no. I hope he learns it quickly. When he is not searching out any baby-inappropriate thing in our house, he is chattering away. He loves to say "Aaah," and "Baah, baah," and "Ggg," and "Gaah, gaah," and (my favorite) "Ma-ma."

On Wednesdays he goes to the drop-in nursery so that I can attend a Bible study at church. The ladies there love him and yesterday one of them asked me why I couldn't just let him stay until they closed. He is just happy and flirty and busy and fun. And the truth is that he is going to be rotten because the four of us think he hung the moon. I love who he is and how we all turn to mush every time he smiles. I love who we are because of him; because God blessed us with our little Whitto, Troub, Peanut, Bub, Too Busy Gus.

In search of the perfect pumpkin

2008-10-20T20:10:00.001-04:00

Market totes and scout bags

2008-10-20T19:26:00.006-04:00

Warning! I am going to post more about the show I'm taking part in. If y'all just don't care anymore, then just skip over these posts. It's probably getting boring, but since it's a lot of what I'm thinking about these days, I'm just going to go right on posting about it.

Someone (maybe here?) suggested that I come up with names for individual creations. I have been thinking on that for several months. At first, I thought fleetingly about using family names, but there's another girl in Columbia who does that and it turns out that she ended up being included in the show. It's her thing anyway and I wanted to come up with my own. Then, I thought on naming them after streets I've lived on (and there have been many) but names like Kinlaugh, Avondale and Sequoia tripped me up. Finally, I settled on using characters from my favorite novels and using the names of my favorite authors. Since I love literature, it seems like a great fit.

scout bags: in travel, large and small clutch and make-up sizes.

interior shot

another interior shot

market totes; no special name for these.

Finished

2008-10-15T10:32:00.005-04:00

I think I am done. I'm sure I could make more, like fabric florettes to attach to the large zippered bags and maybe some more bag tags, but I just don't know if I can sit at my sewing machine any more. I am pretty sure that I need to stop for now.

So, here's the first look at what I will feature in the trunk show. I don't have totals and I want to take pictures of each item, but here's a general run down: aprons (cafe and hostess), zippered bags (x large, large, medium, make-up), sunglasses cases, wallets, market totes and bag tags. I am most excited about the bag tags. They are prissy little things and were very difficult to work with. I almost gave up on them. I'm glad I stood by them, though, because in the process I learned a very important lesson. It's one I'm sure anyone with common sense knows. Please, DO NOT iron vinyl. Yes, I did. I ironed it. I am going to shamelessly make an excuse for myself: it was late, Tom was hunting, I had been sitting at the sewing machine for a good little while. Also. I tend to do things like that; things that fly in the face of common sense.

I still have to get business cards printed. I'm sort of on the fence about them; don't know whether to print them myself or have them printed online. I'm leaning toward the online option since it's less work for me and they will look more professional. Just have to convince Tom of that. I'd also like to get some stickers made.

This show is going to be so great! We're going to have two stationary reps, frames, paintings, painted signs and watercolor house portaits and nana by sally bags. The house is amazing and we've got a sizeable guest list. I'm not exactly sure who reads this blog, but if you do and you live in Columbia and you want to come and you're not sure you'd be on the guest list because you don't really know me, just leave me a comment or email me and I'll get you the directions. The show will take place Monday, November 3rd from 6-9 pm in Forest Acres. We also have a facebook page.

See how mean I am?

2008-10-08T16:40:00.001-04:00

I took the paper away.

Trouble defined

2008-10-08T16:30:00.005-04:00

That is Drew's paper from school. And what does it say about me that I ran to get the camera instead of taking it away? I guess I just wanted everyone to see what I am up against. He keeps me busy. Also, there's this little trunk show that I'm participating in: six or seven women and over 250 on the guest list. I love my other kids too and will post pictures of them...sometime.

And. AND!?!? Why are my pictures so grainy? Why? Huh? Is it the lighting? It IS a rainy day and we are inside. Maybe that's it? I just want to be one of those people who takes good pictures. But, I'm not. So I guess you should all settle in for one grainy picture after another.

I'm huuuungry!

2008-09-25T13:51:00.002-04:00

Sorry for the title. It's just that my dad will get it and I had to use it. You might too if you're a little off your rocker like we are and you watch Emmett Otter's Jugband Christmas every year. We do. It's one of the traditions I'm proud to pass down to my kids.

Anyhow, I'm just here to leave a note to myself: no more wisdom teeth. Also, self? You are pretty naive when it comes to having major dental work done.

So, on Friday I had to have a wisdom tooth extracted. My dentist did it because he's great and he wanted to try to pull it instead of cutting it out from the side. Faster recovery time. I had sort of forgotten about the appointment even though we've been talking and talking about it since he discovered it and then I got pregnant and then we had to wait and then it actually cut through the gum. Tom wanted to take Drew hunting and I said, "Sure! I've had some "major" dental work done before. I was fine; piece of cake! Go on and enjoy yourselves."

Oh, self! You are so very optimistic. Um, wisdom teeth are big and they love you. They wrap their roots around your bones and basically, they love you, as my dentist told me. When I called Tom after the surgery I must have sounded pretty bad because he had already decided to take the rest of the day off when I walked in the door. The rest of the day pretty much involved me laying in bed until about 3 pm when I was able to get up and make some pink pancakes I had promised Mary Des. Then I laid back down.

And, Saturday? Saturday I felt fantastic. We went to a birthday party. I ate solid food. Total recovery. Until Tuesday when my jaw started to ache like nobody's business. On Wednesday I woke up in tears and was on my way to my dentist at 7:30 am. Dry socket--another thing I was naive about.

For the past two days I have been in to get medicine for the dry socket. That involves gritting down on a piece of gauze for a good part of the rest of the day, which means that all I can basically eat is tomato soup. There are only so many ways you can dress up tomato soup and let's just say it's not the most calorie-laden food. Which is why I yelled at you in my title. Just like Chuck, leader of the Riverbottom boys.

Eight months old today

2008-09-18T06:08:00.000-04:00

That just about says it all.

Can't think of a catchy title and refuse to use puns on the word sew

2008-09-05T13:24:00.006-04:00

So, I'm participating in a trunk show on November 3rd here in Columbia. It's a pretty big deal to me as the other girls who are in the show are reps for larger companies. I've got to do my best to not look "rinky-dink," as I like to call it. I ordered some new fabric and VINTAGE! buttons at the end of the summer and I've been cutting and sewing up a storm. I still have four make-up pouches, one sunglasses case, five or six errand bags and some pennant garlands to go. I feel like I've done a good bit, but there's still much work to be done.

Full disclosure: this is what my dining room looks like right now.
Everything that I've finished. It really doesn't look like much when it's all thrown together like this.

The prototype for an errand bag I want to try out. I'm making a little fabric case for it so it can store in a purse easily. Don't love these fabrics, but just wanted to sew one to see how my idea fleshed out.

Contrasting facing and handles. The real fabric? It is so great-some leftover upholstery fabric from when Storehouse closed. They're going to be so quirky and hopefully a hit.

This is what I'm most excited about. My friend's husband majored in graphic design and still dabbles in it from time to time. He agreed to do a logo for me FOR FREE! I sent him some pictures of graphics that I like and he came up with these options. I chose the one in the middle with the aqua border and my name written in brown. I'm also using the "r" graphic with aqua and brown.

Here's what I have left to do:

-finish the last sunglasses case

-sew make-up pouches

-cut fabric for and sew errand bags and cases

-print up business cards

-figure out how to make stickers

-find bags

-get my addresses in an excel spreadsheet by Sept. 25th

-maybe sew two more aprons

-sew pennant banners

-figure out how to set up my table

-a million other things I'm either forgetting or don't know about yet

Got a fresh word

2008-08-31T13:21:00.006-04:00

Sometimes I feel pressure to write something of a spiritual nature on this blog. It's not like I have some big blog with readers that have expectations, so it's not coming from other people. I think I feel it because He is at the center of who I am and I feel the need to point back to that at times.

The problem is that lately I've just been dry. Roberston McQuilken says that we can't be stagnant because really that's moving backward. I won't use that word. I guess it isn't really that I feel that way anyway. I'm showing up every morning; this is my second time reading the Bible through in a year and since I got a little behind at the beginning when we got our little Teens (as in Teensy-Whitt), I have to keep up now. I have a consistent desire to grow closer to Him. It's just that, while I don't doubt that He is close, I haven't felt God's closeness. When I read other blogs I am jealous for the joy or wisdom or humility or just plain moutain-topness that my friends seem to be experiencing, even though I know that where I am right now is from Him too.

I know that a huge part of what I have been feeling is attached to our circumstances. Tom and I have talked about this so much over the past couple of years. While God is providing for our every need and then some, we don't have any idea how long we are going to be in this house, in this job, in this place. I firmly believe that when we made the move to Tom's current job, God led us into a desert-like place. One where we don't know how long or where we'll be camping out but where, just like the Israelites, we have to look to the cloud of God's glory. When it rests over where we are, then we stay. When He lifts it, we move.

The thing about that is that after a while you start to want to rest. I'm talking about just wanting to not have to pack up again or live in a semi-permanent way; a physical rest, I suppose. I struggle with this the most because I want to make a home for the kids. I want to do things that involve putting down more roots than we probably should. I'm not proud of this, but sometimes I struggle with wanting to make our home as much ours as possible. I want to paint the walls and just generally nest. I want to put a swingset in the backyard and plant a garden. I want to know that in a year from now we will be right here. It isn't the most difficult situation, but it does make being the keeper of this home a little bit interesting when I don't know what the next months and years hold.

While we've felt this camping out feeling for a good while, the past two years have been the most intense. This summer has brought lots of reevaluating and questioning and just wondering: are we where we are supposed to be? Because while God meets our needs, there are still many road blocks for us here.

Earlier this summer I decided to take a notebook and fill it up with as much as I could learn about the desert: how God uses it, who He uses it with, what He does when His people are there. I'm going to be working on it for a while since there are weeks at a time where I don't get a chance to pick it up. I started with Abram because when God called him out to begin his journey, he had to travel through the desert.

The end of last week was another one where we were experiencing some road blocks to resting, nesting, putting down roots. On Friday morning I decided to sit down with my notebook and add another person to it. While Mary Des sat beside me reading her Bible (so sweet!) I realized that I hadn't read any commentaries on the passages I studied about Abram. I really like to read Matthew Henry because I often find many application points or truths about the Word that go straight to my heart.

About Genesis 12:1-3, Matthew Henry says (among other things), "Note: If God loves us, and has mercy in store for us, he will not suffer us to take up our rest any where short of Canaan, but will graciously repeat his calls, till the good work begun be performed, and our souls repose in God only." I believe that is what you call a fresh word. I just knew right then that God has been saying not yet. No rest yet. He is still working some things in us, working until our souls rest in Him. Is there a physical Canaan for this part of our lives? I don't know. We can't even say that we won't live this way for the rest of our lives. We might. But whether he keeps us here for three more years or only a couple of months and whether or not during that time He allows us to rest here, I can be at rest in Him. That's overwhelming and honestly doesn't effect me as much as the fact that I heard from Him. I'm sure that it will at some point. I didn't get the answer that I wanted, but I got to hear from Him and it means so much more.

Talks the legs off a chair

2008-08-28T09:13:00.006-04:00

I wish there were words to capture the very interesting and entertaining event that is a conversation with Drew. I think our pastor said it best this summer when he told Tom that Drew could "talk the legs off a chair."
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We've been having some summer thunderstorms lately and one Sunday night we were finishing up dinner when Mary Des said, "There's thunder!" And then Drew said, "It's a good thing that WIS is on our side. And God." WIS is one of our local channels but "on your side" is the slogan for their rival. The best part was the fact that he added God as an afterthought. It was just funny.
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He really likes his teacher but he has one qualm about her. She's a Clemson fan. Now, we are not the kind of Carolina fans who feel the need to be obnoxious about the rivalry or continually bring it up. Honestly, we haven't even thought about talking to him about it because it's just football. Tom does love sports and we do talk about them a good bit but we just don't focus on the rivalries. Anyhow, on the second day I asked, "I can't believe you're in school like a big kid! What in the world do you think about it?" He said, "I don't know. I mean, Mrs. Long? She likes Clemson! And, I'm just worried about it. I mean, what if we have another bad season. Remember last year? When we started playing bad after Mississippi State? What if that happens again?" Y'all. He's six. I can't even believe that he remembers all of that or even cares about it. We did have to have a serious talk about how all of it is just football and fun and that it never affects who we like or how we treat people. He had a hard time letting it go, but I think he's finally over it.
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Last night my mom called to chat while I was cooking dinner. I was roasting something so I had the oven on at 400 degrees. Our kitchen is small and when the oven runs at 400 or higher it sets off the smoke alarm. Every. Time. I. Open. The. Door. I'm not frustrated about it, though. So while he was on the phone with Nonnie the smoke alarm went off and as he's walking by the kitchen he says, "Hang on, Nonnie." Then he blows at it. Like you blow out a candle. And the thing actually cut off. So he says, "Ok, Nonnie, I'm back. I got it to turn off."

Our neck of the woods

2008-08-27T09:16:00.011-04:00

Just in the past week:

1. My hair has gone crazy.

2. Some sort of animal that loves bread and rice and is too smart for traps has found a way into our house. I can't talk about it too much or I start to get physically ill. Also, I keep dreaming about it being in our room and then I wake Tom up and ask him if I'm dreaming or not. Fun times.

3. I joined facebook. I have resisted as long as I can. It's a great way to get in touch with old friends.

4. I found this free blog template that I really like. I'm not sure about the future of my blog but I'm hoping the nice new look will keep me motivated.

During my blog vacation:

I made these blankets for a friend's twins-one boy, one girl.

Whitt was dedicated.

We went to the beach for a week.

I made more pouches for LaRoque.

Drew turned six.

We took a family fishing trip for his birthday. Yes, that is a Barbie fishing rod.

I made this dress for Mary Des. Sorry for the bad lighting.

Drew started school.

A couple of people around here miss him.

Slow your roll, baby, slow your roll

2008-08-21T18:35:00.003-04:00

In true me fashion I forgot to schedule Whitt's six month well check when I was there for his four month check. When I remembered it, the pediatrician was already backed up into August. Then we had something come up and I had to move it back a week later. So, on Monday after I dropped Drew off at school, MD and I took Whitt to his six month check up. He was seven months old to the day.Everything looks great. He weighs 16 lbs 12 oz and is 26 1/4 inches long. 25% on both measurements. That's right, people, we make 'em small. Seriously, he looks just fine and healthy and roly-poly for his age. He has two bottom teeth and if he is not working on some more then I will lose my mind because at times he is one ornery baby. Wait, I already lost it. Well, let's just hope he has some more teeth come in soon. Also, Tom lost the DVD player remote. I know that has nothing to do with this post but I thought I'd throw it in because it means that I cannot force Drew to set movies up anymore. I have to sit down and stare straight up at the TV until I press enough buttons to get to the menu screen. Whitt set about astounding the pediatrician with his physical prowess. He can army crawl. He can sit up. He can sit up from laying down. He coos. He flirts. He grabs everything within a two inch radius. He will be the end of me.

The best part of this appointment is that we discovered that the molding of his head is not severe enough that it will require a helmet. This is something we've been really keeping an eye on and at the last appointment I think the pediatrician was all but convinced we were headed down that road. We decided to wait because insurance companies generally consider this issue cosmetic and will not cover it. We're talking about $3000-$5000 plus one emotional mama. We have been praying that the fact that he won't sit still or lay on his back will give his head a chance to start molding the correct way. Praise God, it has! His head is not going to be perfect but the pediatrician thinks that once his hair fills in, it won't be that noticeable. It is glaringly obvious to me, but I have spent seven months examining it over and over again for any change. This is a big answer to prayer for us.

We just love Whitt. He is funny and has a great laugh. He purses his lips in this funny little way as if he is waiting to see what entertaining thing we will do next. He loves to make loud noises and he LOVES his Mama. He likes peas but not apples. He's just him and we love it.

Felt like I couldn't breathe

2008-08-19T14:52:00.007-04:00

About five and a half years ago Tom and I were desperate. We were both working full-time and Drew was around five months old. We decided that no matter what it took, I was going to quit my job. I say decided like it was an easy decision. It wasn't. We were scared. But we were more scared of what would happen to us if I didn't. Our life just wasn't working. Most of all, though, we were sure that God was leading us take this huge blind step.

I've been thinking about that a good bit lately because in the span of four days Drew has turned six and started school. I can't wrap my brain around the fact that we've reached this point in his childhood. Just a couple of weeks ago we were playing on the playground and as I looked over at him I realized: he is a big kid. He is gangly and tall and just big. He loves Carolina football and transformers and racing and all things boy. He can even tell you when last year's football season went downhill. He is a tender and protective big brother. He coos over Whitt and has been Mary Des' constant companion.

And, now, here we are at this place where, honestly, I can't even catch my breath: when it's still morning but he's not here, when we're sitting at lunch and there are no transformer sounds, when it's 2:35 and Tom still hasn't gotten home with him yet, when Mary Des stands at the door ready to go pick him up. I won't lie, it's a hard place. Every day this week I have wanted to just stop time.

We have prayed and prayed over what we should do for Drew as far as his schooling. I know most people have strong convictions about what kind of schooling to pursue, but Tom and I have always been open to both home and public school. All summer we have gone round and round and round. Finally, Tom just cut off the discussion and decided that we would pursue Rosewood because we could see God using us and him and working in us there, too. In the end, we just have to trust God. I know this can be a controversial subject and I have friends who fall on both sides of the fence so I won't go on and on. The bottom line is that we have sought God's wisdom and believe this is the way we should go.

But, as I said before, this is hard. So this week I've been thinking about that time in our lives when we were desperate for change. When all I wanted was to pass the days with him and Tom. I am thankful for this child who ushered in a whole new living for us-one where we trust beyond what we can conceive. I am thankful for this child who continues to stretch my knowledge of what living is. I am thankful for this child who reminds me to stop and have fun. I am thankful for this little one who pushed us over the edge.

Another letter to an inanimate (sort of) object

2008-08-14T14:26:00.004-04:00

Dearest loveliest brain,

I miss you. I know that I am demanding and impulsive and sometimes ignore all of the little signals you send me, but I really need you. Please forgive me for whatever I've done to push you away or cause you to have the malfunction button permanently engaged. I am pretty lost without you.

The other day, when I tried to call Walgreens for a prescription, couldn't you have kicked in the second or third time I dialed the number? I was so confused by the busy signal. It's a computerized line anyway. But no. You let me dial the number four times before I realized that, yes, those seven digits are our HOME number.

Or how about Tuesday? When you reminded me to lock the door on our van but not to shut it. And then you let me find out from one of my friends' husbands who shut it for me an HOUR later.

It's the little things, too. Like the fact at least two times this week I've thought it was one day while, in fact, it was another.

Please come back.

love,
me

Attn: Target

2008-08-06T13:07:00.003-04:00

Dear Target,

I love you. But sometimes I don't like you. The other day, when I was shopping for school supplies and I wandered over to check out the strollers, I found the perfect combination of a real stroller and an umbrella stroller. You know the one. The one that you have on display in all of the Columbia stores but that is currently only in stock in Florence. And is not available online. Also, you are the only store at all who carries it.

I know, you think I should let it go. But, here's the thing. It's only $30 and I'm just not going to pay $100 for an umbrella stroller for my last child even if it's named something like Quinny or Volo or Auria or Zippy. I'll just take the Cosco Comfort Ride in gray and red. And, Target? I know you say that you don't know when it will come in, but I think you do. I think you know that I will follow your advice and continue to check week by week until it comes in. You trust that I will not be able to resist your cheap One Spot products or cute handbags or quirky clothes. You know me. But, guess what? The other day? When I was at the Northeast store? I didn't buy one thing. So there.

Also. Target? I know you do not know my husband because he will not enter your store. You do not sell hunting supplies or golf equipment or fried foods. But, Target? He experiences physical pain whenever I spend our money. And the longer it takes for the stroller to come in, the more time he will have to rationalize that our third child can very easily ride in our old stroller even though it takes up more room in our mini van than any of our children. Even though one of the wheels is turned in the wrong direction and it is in general disrepair. Oh yes, Target, he will decide that it is just fine for the latest little one. And, I guess he is right except that it is big and bulky and will waste the precious time that I do have when I run errands.

I guess the bottom line is that I am at your mercy.

Sincerely,
Me

Would it be sad if this is really what I spent my blog vacation thinking and doing? I mean, I didn't. Ok, just a little bit. Seriously, we have been to the beach, the pool, to parties. We're getting ready to celebrate Drew's 6th birthday with a little fishing trip. And, Drew's getting ready to start school. I think I might resume some sort of regular posting after that.

Making a little room

2008-07-03T13:58:00.004-04:00

I am tired of myself. Aren't y'all? Tired of me, I mean, not you. Now that I have finished the daunting task of overwhelming you with the most minute details or our trip to Disney, I'm going to take a teensy break. I just reread that and it comes off so self-important or like I have tons of readers. I know I don't. I guess I'm really saying it for me.

I have some bowties to work on and some special orders to complete. I also have a couple of projects to work on around the house and some patterns to work out for the fall. I'm even thinking of taking a couple of days off from reading blogs, because I spend more time on that than posting on my blog.

I like to read this blog, which lead me to this blog. And then I read this message and I just got to thinking that surrendering is probably a good thing for me to be doing right now. It's just that I stay so busy that it's hard to hear from God what He might want from me. So, I'm making room to hear from Him. Just for a little while.

Day four: pictures

2008-07-03T13:47:00.001-04:00

Day four: words

2008-07-01T17:45:00.003-04:00

On Day four, we left the hotel by 8:30 and were actually inside MGM-now Hollywood-Studios for the opening. It was kind of fun. They had the troopers from Darth Vader's army standing on top of the buildings and this whole little skit about which order he'd given and what it meant. Drew had a great time trying to blast them with his imaginary Buzz ray gun.

The night before we ran into some old friends of my parents while we were at Downtown Disney and they told us that we should make the new Toy Story ride our first priority. So, we headed for that first thing. Y'all, the line at 9:10 was ridiculous and our fastpasses weren't until 11:40! It just opened two weeks ago, so it is very popular. Our whole day pretty much revolved around getting on that ride and seeing Lightning McQueen.

So, after we got the fastpasses and figured out what time Lightning would be out, we grabbed some breakfast. After breakfast, my sister and I went to get fastpasses for Aerosmith's Rockin Roller Coaster. This was a favorite of my dad, sister and Tom the last time we went to Disney. The great thing was that either it was so crazy at Toy Story Mania or the fastpass machines were broken. We just held up our tickets and were handed the passes. We were able to get two fastpasses for about the same time. That ended up being a good thing later in the day.

We had a little time to kill before Lightning and Mater, so we decided to catch a performance based on High School Musical 2: School's Out. Because, well, my sister and I do love a "teeny-bopper" movie (Case in point: Bring it On, Bring it On 2, Clueless, 10 Things I Hate About You and many others). We had a great time watching one guy who was super-animated. And, then Mary Des became famous. She was picked to go up during the song about jobs and how they'll work it out to play the golf-ball bucket, turned drum. She was a little sassy and not that into it-she played it very cool. I don't have a picture of this because my camera battery died that morning and my dad was too far away to catch it. My sister and I were pretty excited.

About halfway through the show we decided to head over to the backlot to get in line for our friends from Cars. We arrived 20 minutes early. Tom and I were not playing around. Even being there 20 minutes early only got us up to fourth in line. To meet Lightning, you have to find your way to a wall painted with a picture of Radiator Springs. When it's time to meet them, "Life is a Highway" starts playing over the speakers. Then you hear Lightning rev up his engine, they open up the wall and out come the cars. I'm guessing y'all aren't shocked by the fact that we were all super-excited. Both Tom and I jumped in the picture with Mary Des and Drew. It was so fun, but I cannot believe how excited I got about a life size remote-controlled car.

So, after we met up with our peeps from Cars, my dad, sister, Tom and I headed over to the Rockin' Roller Coaster. Remember how I said I don't like roller coasters so much? Well, this was definitely not the one to choose to ride. First of all the take off is extremely fast. Then, apparently, there are some moments where the ride goes upside down. I would not know about that because I kept my eyes closed from the moment we took off until the ride was done. And the picture they take? Let's just say I looked a little scared in it and I had to do some serious threatening to convince my dad not to buy it.

Toy Story 2 Midway Mania totally made up for it though. We headed straight over and everyone but Tom got on. Unfortunately, this was not a ride for carrying babies. I want to be as specific as I can since it's such a new ride. First of all, if you know what a midway is, then you know that this was a ride that featured fair games like knocking down milk bottles and throwing darts at balloons. If don't know what a midway is and would have to ask why it was called Midway Mania after you were on the ride, then you would be in good company. I had no clue. So, you sit two to a side of these pods and have some things that shoot and you can aim (I am sorry. I can't be more specific. I have no idea how to describe them). The pod spins you through the game and you stop at these 3-D screens where you shoot balls or darts or whatever the game calls for. All the while, all of your favorite characters from Toy Story 2 talk and dance and pretty much make the game a good bit of fun. At the end, the points there is a bonus round and the points are tallied. I rode with Mary Des. She scored 4,500. I'm not sure how because she wasn't even using her shooter. I scored 66, 450. I remembered because I wanted to see if I beat Tom after he got to ride. I was feeling so good until I looked over and saw that another rider had scored over 100, 000.

When we went to relieve Tom, my dad made a crucial mistake. He told Tom his score-65,00, I think. See, Tom has this annoying habit of winning everything. I have beat him once in seven years. On the putt-putt course. Of course, Tom went in gunning to beat everyone and scored somewhere around 90,000.

Unfortunately after Tom rode the skies opened up again and it didn't let up until dinner. This is one thing I was sad about because we didn't get to go to Epcot. By the time the rain let up it was dinner time and we had two tired children and five very tired adults, so we grabbed dinner near the restaurant and went for a swim.

One thing that I did forget to mention is that it was a Star Wars Weekend at Hollywood Studios, so there were lost of people in jedi garb and there was a motorcade featuring some famous Star Wars characters. It was interesting but a bit above our kids.

The next day we got up, grabbed breakfast and hit the road. I was sad to leave but glad to get back home-nine hours later. I know that the kids had a blast and we did, too. Thanks, Nonnie and Papa for a great trip!

Day three: pictures

2008-06-30T10:10:00.004-04:00

Disney day three: words

2008-06-29T21:38:00.002-04:00

Next up on our list was Animal Kingdom. I know some people do not get or care for this park, but my family loves places like Animal Kingdom. We grew up going to the Greenville Zoo just about every weekend and my sister even went to National Wildlife Camp.

We tried to get there pretty early so we could either get a fastpass for the safari or just jump right on. The wait was nothing so we decided to go ahead and ride right away. I actually got to ride this one twice because when we got there we realized that Whitt had fallen asleep in the stroller. If he was sleeping we tried not to move him or wake him up since his nap schedule was a little off for the week. While I rode with my family, Tom got a fastpass for the two of us and we got to ride it together (sans children) right after my family.

The african safari is one of my favorite parts of Animal Kingdom. We got to see baby elephants, giraffes, black rhinos, warthogs and lots of other well-known african animals. We also saw some very unique animals as well. On the first ride the white rhinos were right next to our "jeep." Seriously, it felt like we could reach out and touch them. On the second ride we actually had to stop for several minutes because an animal had gotten in the road and wasn't budging. I just think that's so amazing that you are literally riding through their habitats. I didn't take any pictures of the animals because even though I like to see them, I just don't know what to do with a blurry picture I took of an elephant. I'm much more interested in my kids' reactions.

After the safari, we grabbed breakfast in Kiliminjaro before heading over to Asia for Everest Expedition. I wish I'd taken a picture of the cinnamon rolls because they were even bigger than Cinnabon!

Once again, when we got to Expedition Everest, the wait was minimal, so my dad, sister, Tom and Drew got in line. I guess I should clarify that my mom and I are not such great roller coaster riders. I don't enjoy feeling my heart in my throat. That's why we are never included in the really thrilling rides. Anyhow, Expedition Everest is a new ride (the first roller coaster, I think) at Animal Kingdom. After Drew got in line we walked by it and saw the huge downhill part and I thought there was no way he would ride it. I didn't take a picture did find this video that gives you a good idea of the ups and downs on the ride. I still can't believe that my five, almost six, year old rode some of the things he did. He was quite the daredevil.

While they were riding Everest, my mom and I took Mary Des and Whitt to the area for younger children. We rode a couple of carnival type rides and played in the dinosaur playground. Then everyone went to grab a bite to eat and our little family-minus Drew-headed back to the hotel for some meltdown prevention-otherwise known as a good, long nap.

I have to say that this day did have a pretty big down point because my mom left her phone in a gift shop at Animal Kingdom while we were at the hotel. It is quite a frustrating experience to try to track down something that you've lost while at Disney and they spent a good bit of time over the next two days going back and forth between the main lost and found and Animal Kingdom. Even today, there is still no phone despite the fact that the cashier remembers the phone and remembers sending it to lost and found.

But, before the phone incident, they did ride the water rapids ride and head out to the petting zoo and Planet Watch area. Apparently, Drew was very wet from the rapids and really loved that ride.

After Mary Des got a good nap, it was time for us to load up and head over to Downtown Disney for her appointment at Bibbidy Bobbidy Boutique. The idea seemed a little expensive and frivolous to me, but Nonnie wanted to do it for her and it did not disappoint. I was shocked when we got the to World of Disney store and found that the princess dresses were $65. That is alot of money for dress-up clothes. We weren't planning on buying anything anyway. Still, I felt like a cheapskate when I saw all of the moms buying those little outfits. The truth is I can make her something that probably won't be as elaborate but she really won't know any better. We did decide to get her some Aurora gloves and a little purse.

As I said the boutique experience did not disappoint. Mary Des chose the classic princess hairdo, which I was glad for because both of the others involved clip-in colored hair and crimping. She got a simple bun with a pink tiara, some eyeshadow, lip gloss and glitter to finish off the look. The glitter was applied by magic wand. It was pretty adorable to watch her looking in the mirror after she had been made over and everyone had to stop her the rest of the night.

After we left BBB, we strolled around and did some shopping not realizing that we were going to the opposite end of Downtown Disney from our restaurant. We had to really book it to get to our reservation. Of course, after dinner I was walking a fussy Whitt around and noticed that there was a water taxi that took you from one side to the other.

Next up, Hollywood (MGM) Studios.

Disney day two: pictures

2008-06-27T08:03:00.005-04:00

Disney day two: words

2008-06-27T06:57:00.002-04:00

We decided to devote our first full day to doing Magic Kingdom in earnest. We arrived around 10:00 am and got a fastpass for the Jungle Cruise. While we waited on our fastpass time, we went through the Swiss Family Robinson house. It was actually nice and cool once you got up in the tree. It was such a hot day.

After we jumped on the Jungle Cruise, Mary Des and I stood in line to meet Jasmine while my sister and dad got fastpasses for Splash Mountain. My mom walked Drew around and Tom walked Whitt around. I didn't get any autograph books for the kids and in a weird way I'm glad we didn't because we would have spent the whole time standing in line to see all of the characters. We stood in line for 30 minutes and then Mary Des didn't want to stand by herself with Jasmine because Aladdin was there. From that point on, we decided to only stand in line for our most favorite characters.

After meeting Jasmine, we headed over to Frontierland for Woody's Cowboy Camp. This is a little show that they do in the streets. I was so glad we did it because Mary Des really wanted to see Jesse (from Toy Story 2) but I just wasn't sure she'd be around. Thankfully, both she and Bullseye were part of the show. Mary Des wasn't so sure about Bullseye, but she did wave at Jesse and Woody. Drew loved it. He got to give Bullseye and Woody five.

Tom decided to take Whitt back to the hotel for a nap and the rest of us went to get some lunch. After lunch my dad, sister and Drew went to ride Space Mountain and my mom, Mary Des and I decided to check out the Bibbidy Bobbidy Boutique. I guess I should have done a little more research online about some of the new things there because I didn't realize it would require a reservation.

We were able to get a reservation at Downtown Disney for the next evening, so we headed on over to Toontown Fair. We walked through Minnie's house and then got in line to meet the Disney Princesses. I think this was my favorite part of the day. Mary Des was so ecstatic about meeting them. I was also really glad to see that Aurora was one of the princesses. Aurora was the only other character she really wanted to see. It was so sweet. She ran up to her and gave her a big hug and was so excited. Aurora was so great, too. She talked to Mary Des for what seemed like five minutes. She called Mary Des a princess and MD insisted that she wasn't a princess and was just Mary Des. Then they talked about the video that Mary Des has with Aurora in it and Mary Des showed Aurora her shoes. Then Aurora walked Mary Des over to Cinderella, but not before MD told her about Cinderella's stepmother and sisters being unkind to her. She also gave Cinderella a big hug and chatted with her for a couple of minutes. Finally, she got to meet Belle. I think that both my mom and I loved this part of the day.

The rest of the crew was waiting on us after we left the princesses, so we went on to Mickey's house and then Drew, my sister, Mary Des and I got on the Barnstormer. Mary Des did not like this ride. It only lasts a minute, but they whole time she kept saying over and over again, "Dis scary!" Drew liked it but didn't like how short it was.

By the time we got off the ride Tom and Whitt were back and we split the group again. My mom, dad and Drew went to Tommorrowland to ride the race cars. The rest of us went to Fantasyland. Mary Des rode the carousel with Tom and then again with Sarah. Then she and Sarah rode Dumbo.

Just like the night before, a gullywasher started to move through and we decided to head back toward our hotel for dinner and then get to bed for some good rest.

Next, Day three and Animal Kingdom.

Disney day one: pictures

2008-06-25T16:51:00.003-04:00

I know I don't have too many pictures of our first night, but I promise I did better the other days! These are all from the Spectro Magic Parade.

Disney day one: words

2008-06-25T16:30:00.002-04:00

We left on Wednesday morning at 4:30 am thinking that the kids would sleep the first three hours of the trip. Not so much. Mary Des and Whitt did snooze on and off, but Drew was just too excited to even think of sleeping.

I think it took us nine hours with a stop in Georgia for breakfast and Jacksonville for lunch. So, we were at the hotel by 1:00 pm. My parents and sister were already there and eating lunch. We did get rooms that opened into each other (Aron, thanks for remembering!). It worked out perfectly. My family was on the other side of the kids.

Since it was early and we wanted to let Whitt get in a nap, we decided to take Drew and Mary Des swimming. Those swimming lessons really paid off for Drew because he was such a little fish and swam all over the pool without any fear. That part wasn't so great, but with so many adults we had a good eye on him. Mary Des is at least able to let go of me in the water now and she will swim with a little ring around her.

After our swim, we decided to go on to Magic Kingdom for dinner and hopefully a parade. We hopped on Aladdin's Magic Carpet Ride, grabbed a quick bite and then made our way over to Tomorrowland to ride Buzz Lightyear and Space Mountain. This is where I sort of led my family astray by going to Adventureland first to try and catch the characters from Peter Pan. The last time we went to Disney it was September and the forecasters were calling for a hurricane. We went anyway and there was no one there. I think I was a little naive about the crowds, so we didn't even make it to where Peter Pan, et al were because of the many people. We did get to ride some of the rides that were at the top of our lists, though, so I don't think they were too upset.

After Buzz Lightyear, Tom, Drew, my dad and my sister got in line for Space Mountain. My mom, Mary Des, Whitt and I rode the train in Tommorrowland and then hung out under cover while a gullywasher passed through. We were thinking we'd just head on after they got done with Space Mountain and miss the parade since it wasn't until 9 pm. But, they got stuck in line because of a ride malfunction and by the time they got out Whitt had just fallen asleep in the stroller and it was almost time for the parade to start. We decided to stay and I'm so glad we did.

Mary Des loved the parade and, even though he wasn't so sure about it at first, Drew did, too. We saw Cinderella and Ariel and several other fun Disney characters. Then we hit the road to our hotel and put everyone down for the night. Drew was asleep within a minute of when he laid down. He had been awake since 4:30 and going strong.

Next, Day Two: Magic Kingdom.

Hi

2008-06-23T16:52:00.002-04:00

We got home last night. Apparently for the whole nine hours in the car Mary Des thought we were going back to the hotel. She was a little heartbroken when we drove up in our driveway.

Day four was great. Unfortunately I did not pack my camera battery charger because I just charged it. The battery died Saturday morning. My dad took some pictures so I'll post them when I get them from him and have a moment to go through each day in more detail. I know all of y'all were concerned about whether or not we got to meet Lightning. We did! It was so great; we all got our picture with him.

Right now I am catching up on laundry and some sewing stuff.

Day three

2008-06-21T06:14:00.001-04:00

Being goofy on the african safari.

Day Two; couldn't pick just one

2008-06-20T06:42:00.005-04:00

Whitt spent alot of the day in the stroller. When we were leaving, he was crying so we sat him up. He looked at the people sitting next to his stroller on the monorail and gave them this "Please, help me!" look. It was cute.

Trying to meet Woody and Jesse. Drew had just given Bullseye five.

Meeting Aurora. This was so sweet. They talked for almost five minutes. Mary Des was just floating afterwards.

Day one

2008-06-19T06:42:00.003-04:00

At the Spectra Magic parade at Magic Kingdom. This big girl let Mary Des (in polka dots) sit with her and even put her arm around her. Cinderella was coming by; they were yelling and waving.

Disney or bust

2008-06-17T09:29:00.004-04:00

So I pretty much have everything packed and we are leaving at 4 am tomorrow morning. I was thinking this morning about my two most-pressing hopes about the trip at this point. They are that (1) we will get adjoining rooms and that (2) the bathroom in one of them will be big enough for a crib. Our plan is to put the big kids in one room with Whitt in their bathroom. Then we can just use our bathroom for everything else and keep the doors open at night. The problem with this plan is that adjoining rooms are not guaranteed. If we don't get adjoining rooms then Tom and I are going to switch off sleeping in the same room with the kids.

Anyhow, I was thinking about that this morning when I was getting ready and it reminded me of a recurring dream that I have. I actually have several very vivid dreams that kind of come in cycles. One is that I am staying in a huge hotel and can't remember my room number. Another is that I have agreed to teach 1 or 2 classes a day at Dreher. But, once I start I realize that I can't do it and don't want to do it AND I can't find my way around because they've built a new school (which they have). The most realistic dream is that there is a spider hanging from our ceiling or sitting on Tom's pillow. It is very real and I even get up out of bed to look for the spider. It has followed us through an apartment and three houses. I feel sorry for Tom because if I don't wake him up to look for it, I wake him up when I'm looking for it. And when he tells me I'm dreaming I always argue with him and insist that this time I am not dreaming. I am, though. I know that has nothing to do with Disney World but I was thinking about it this morning and I just thought that if I didn't seem odd enough already I might as well put the nail in the coffin.

Once we get the whole sleeping arrangement settled (and the eight hour trip under our belt) I will be able to move on to thinking about the rest of the trip. It's funny how much more strategic we have to be with every trip; I think we will have to plan for just about every moment. I don't think I've mentioned it yet, but my parents and sister will be meeting us there; this trip is a gift from my mom and dad. I am so glad because even if one of us needs to stay back with Whitt, the adults will still outnumber the children.

We really are looking forward to being at Disney. I know that Drew and Mary Des are going to have a blast and I cannot wait to see how MD reacts when she sees her first princess. She most wants to see Tinkerbell and Sleeping Beauty. Drew has been one time before, and while I know that he is really going to get it this time, there is something about getting to be with Mary Des and see her first reactions to everything. I'm going to have to take my computer just to make room each day for more pictures, so I'm thinking that I might post just one picture a day. We'll see, though. I may be sharing a room with a five and three-year-old.

Finally, I just have to post this even though it has nothing to do with our trip. Last night Tom and I were sitting in the den and we happened to turn on Nashville Star. I was expressing my amazement at how everyone is embracing Billy Ray Cyrus and how he's looking all cool. I mean, he sang a song entitled "Achy Breaky Heart." Do you know what Tom said? He said, "That's what makes him a stud." WHAT? I know I like the music of Taylor Swift and Chris Brown (because I need my boo, gotta see my boo), but y'all, "Achy Breaky Heart?" It involved mullets and saying "Whooo-ooo" over and over again. And then I remembered that my high school chorus sang this song and we actually went to Scuffletown, USA so that we could learn a line dance. Then we performed the line dance and song at our Spring Concert. That's not where it ends. There was a school-wide assembly. I danced to "Achy Breaky Heart" in front of my entire high school.

And now this post has come full-circle. Yes, I am a very unique individual.

Not perfect but beautiful

2008-06-16T10:34:00.004-04:00

One of my favorite blogs is Nesting Place. It's a great place to get inspiration for decorating that is affordable and easy and for real people on real budgets. Most of all, the ideas are beautiful. So, when I read on Friday that she was having a little blog carnival to showcase beautiful but maybe not perfect areas of your house, I was determined I would get this project done:
I was hoping to zip through adding some of the bottom fabric to our bedskirt, making some shams out of the middle fabric and some piping for a throw pillow out of the dark aqua. But, on Saturday we went to Sparkle City and then I took a nap on Sunday. Because having three kids is wearing me out. I guess this will have to wait.

Since I didn't even get that started, here are a couple of my favorite areas of our house these days. I don't usually do little vignettes, but we needed some kind of change in the den and since I think I've belabored the point that we won't be painting in this house (sigh), I wanted something fresh and new. The two cards are from an early reader flashcard set my Grandma used when she was a teacher. I have been saving them because I'd like to frame some of them. I actually bought the shells at Wal Mart which seemed so silly since my parents have a beach house. But, I don't know, I was a little skeptical that I could find shells like that at Edisto.

Here's another one of my favorite little nooks. This is actually a photo tree. I used it as an ornament tree at Christmas but I just love it so much and couldn't put it up. I started clipping the fabric up there because I wanted to see what I had and what worked together for some of sewing projects.
I like that it's modern and sort of stands out next to the beautiful water color my great aunt gave me as a wedding present. That's my G-G Mama. I know that the painting is sliding down in the frame, but I've fixed it several times and I just don't feel like opening up the frame again and fixing it. I like this old bureau too even though it's missing most of its knobs and some of the drawers are crooked. I cleaned it out for my fabric and notions, but my current projects have sort of taken over the top. And, look at that perfect sassy sue. She is petite and spunky and definitely showing the signs of having two brothers.

Five months

2008-06-13T13:40:00.004-04:00

Whitt will be five months old on Wednesday. We are leaving very early that morning for Disney World and I haven't thought one bit about what we need to take so I know that the next few days are going to be hectic. And, can I just say that if we don't see Lightning McQueen in one form or another, there will be some broken hearts? Some of my bloggy friends have been to DW recently and I think I remember seeing a picture of a statue. We will find that statue.
So, Whitt. I am head over heels in love. He is...I can't even think of words. He is adorable, kissable, hugable and so happy. He takes in every little thing and is very well-entertained. I get just about thirty minutes alone with him in the morning and then I get to have him all to myself during nap/room time. He loves his mama and will smile at me whenever I enter a room, but if Drew makes even a tiny noise, Whitt is on the lookout for him. He likes Mary Des and will smile for her but he loves Drew. They are going to be pretty close, I think.

Whitt loves the exersaucer and I'd let him play in it much more if it weren't for all of the spit up it induces. He will jump up and down and laugh his low little laugh while he's in it. He can fully lift his head when he's on his stomach and look around. And, even though he started rolling from back to tummy at 10 weeks, he is still working on rolling from tummy to back. He has done it a couple of times. He has a funny, little laugh in a very low register and he laughs mostly when I say things like "Rah, rah, rah, sis boom bah." Of course, now I have to say it all of the time. He also thinks "goo" is pretty funny.

He is quite the talker. I wish that there were words that could capture the sounds that he makes. The last two weeks he has apparently chatted up his ladies in Sunday School. I think they like him just a little bit. One of them is my friend, though, so she sort of has to like him and talk about how cute he is. I am just wondering, though, if this is foreshadowing. Because, I already have two children who will fight over who gets to talk. And if you so much as make eye contact out of the corner of your eye with Drew, it's over. You will be caught up in a conversation about Peter Pan or swimming lessons or what time we should leave for Disney World. Even though you're not going to Disney World with us.

He still seems pretty laid back. Most of the time he will sit in my lap and watch Drew and Mary Des. Remember how I said he sort of had this "Oh, no!" look as a baby? It's changed a little to more of a "They're at it again" look. Some of his features that I love most are his rosy cheeks and roly poly thighs.

While Whitt still isn't huge, he is packing on the pounds. At his four month check he weighed 13 lbs 9 oz. I had to take Drew in last week and we weighed Whitt. He now weighs 15 lbs 3 oz. Tom claims that seven of that is his head and the rest is his legs. They are chunky.

This week I finally moved him to a four hour schedule and that seems to be going well. I'm pretty sure he's working on a tooth, so sometimes that disrupts his day. He also has this little alarm that wakes him at 6 or 6:30 am on many mornings. Mostly he just talks to himself until I get him at 7.

There is just one word to describe how the four of us feel about him: smitten.

This is our heart

2008-06-08T21:57:00.005-04:00

Whenever we meet new people, they always want to know more about what Tom does. A children's home is hard to define and it's often hard to explain all of the ways the home ministers to the children there.

There are really two different reasons for a child to end up in a home like the one where Tom works. Either they are placed there by the state because the parents have temporarily and/or indefinitely lost custody or the family places the child there because they are unable to house the them at the time. There are also a very few children who get placed in the home by their families for discipline issues.

The thing about custody is that while it might be easy to lose, it's pretty difficult to be stripped of your rights as a parent. This is absolutely the most frustrating part of the child welfare system. Parents can retain rights but never regain custody, even if they are never in a situation where they would be considered fit. Even if they do the bare minimum to retain their rights. It follows that there are many children caught in the system. These children may never return home and will either end up in a group home or will be passed around between foster homes until they are emancipated.

Over our five years here, we have watched helplessly as children learn that they will never be able to be adopted because of the way our system works. This usually sends them over the edge and it is a very painful thing to witness. The truth is that my heart aches for these children because I know that they entered the world the same way mine did. Today they might be considered at-risk youth or troubled children, but they opened their blinking eyes for the first time just the same way all other children do. And as protective as I feel over them , as angry as I feel toward their parents for allowing them to get here, I know that there are no absolutes in this world of breaking hearts. The children who live here love their parents just as fiercely as mine love me despite the fact that sometimes it sure does seem like they don't deserve it. I know that I can't even begin to understand the circumstances and I know that I serve a God who is ever-ready to pour His mercy over all mistakes. And, there are some instances where the parent is geniunely making an effort to become fit. You can't be an absolute person in this fuzzy world.

So the other night when we were awakened at 1:00 am because a five-year-old was having his second anxiety attack in two weeks, my heart felt so very heavy for the children stuck in our system. It's not politically correct or even technically accurate to call a children's home an orphanage any more. In most instances at least one parent is still alive and is present in the most basic sense of the word. But Tom and I both feel strongly that in many senses orphan is the right word. Many of them are lost and hurting and emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically abandoned.

I'm not sure why I'm posting this except that my heart is heavy for people to love these little broken hearts. I don't say this with any judgement. I realize that not everyone has a call on their life the way Tom does. I believe that Tom's heart was just built to be in the midst of their hurting. Anyone who has seen him in action knows it right away. I do know that there are many ways that people can make this problem a part of their lives. The biggest step is just to pray for them. I don't even know how their little hearts can hold the amount of hurt that they do. They need to know our God: the One who covers over all of their past hurts, who adopts them into His family, who calls them children and longs to meet with them. He never misses a visitation. He is beyond fit. He wants to shower them with every blessing.

Shop girl

2008-06-08T19:23:00.000-04:00

As of tonight, I am officially open for business on Etsy. Visit my shop here.

Hmmm

2008-06-04T15:35:00.003-04:00

Is it bad that the swim teacher already knows my daughter's name and maybe no one else's?