middles

What is that quote about beginnings and ends? I think it's that there are no beginnings and ends in life, only middles. And that's right where I am: smack dab in the middle of a big old middle.

I have been struggling with this blog for a good while now. I like to blog. I like to write and post pictures and read other blogs and be able to comment on them. The amount of information and time spent that blogs offer is overwhelming. The problem is that I just don't know where it fits in my life. I don't really know what purpose it serves. It's not a scrapbook. It's not just about writing or photography or decorating. I think it's become a place to release the squeaky wheel of my thoughts.

The thing is that my life has changed so much over the past year and I am just a beginner at balancing my home life with making a business out of sewing. My legs are wobbly and I fail a good bit at walking on this fresh ground. When the summer began, I was pretty sure that I was done. Done with blogging.

But, as part of my crawl-walk-run progress, a website became an obvious goal. Now with that on the horizon and some more solid business plans, I realize that keeping a blog will be good for me. I also realize, though, that blogging without purpose will continue to be a heavy load.

So I won't be posting here anymore. Over the past month, I've been revamping my business blog and preparing myself to move over there permanently. It won't be the same. I don't plan on posting as much writing. I plan to limit myself to posts about creative projects, news about my business and the daily inspiration (family, home, city) around me. I don't think I'll be able to resist writing some about family and life lessons; they'll be sprinkled in here and there. I hadn't planned to make this switch until later in the summer, but keeping up two blogs is oh so very much more than I can handle. It's time and I know it.

I don't really know who reads this blog. I've never asked. But, I do hope that you'll follow me over here (and say hi!) and watch as God strengthens and stretches me in this new dimension of my life.

the weight of knowing

Lately my heart has been learning that it's ok that I can't do everything. With that knowledge comes the understanding that when I choose one thing, I cannot choose another. Sounds simple. It has given me freedom and also pause at my little turns throughout the day. I am learning to choose my kids and know that the mess, the one that seems so huge, is still going to be there and it's ok. Because I will never regret choosing to just spend time with them. I am learning, too, to choose to order my day so that there is space for me to focus on being my husband's wife.

It also means that I have to be a big girl now and choose things that will bless my family like playing or cleaning or organizing or cooking. When I sit down at the computer or open a book or stare mindlessly at absolutely nothing (all things that I enjoy), I do so with the weight of knowing what I am not choosing. Which makes it just a little bit easier to get up and do the other things that call to me.

Things like playing Indiana Jones legos.

Or staging a boat rescue.
Or singing and clapping so that this tater tot can dance.

Linked to Tuesdays Unwrapped.

pro-cras-ti-na-tion

I have a show on Tuesday. My house is a mess. There are ten necklaces waiting to be put together (if I can even get that far). And here I am posting pictures.

We went to Edisto. The short version: we played on a windy afternoon, we dug holes, we took up the whole beach with our shoes, we explored an old plantation, we took morning walks/bike rides, we sat on the porch swing, we ate and ate some more. I hope that they'll have memories of this place like I do.

more house stuff

I figured I'd show some pictures of the breakfast room since it's pretty much done. I have one bare wall but I don't have one single idea for what to put on it, so I'm just going to go with what I have for right now.

The Nester is also having a Price My Space party. So. How about I show you my room and tell you what it cost me to get it to this point? Part of me knows that it is against the rules to broadcast what you've spent but the other part of me knows that I always want to know anyway.

First of all, look how I figured out how to put fancy numbers on my photos! I downloaded paint.net for something I'm working on. Too bad the pictures aren't as fancy.

1. Canvas drop cloth drapes (including clip rings), $20. Black painted wood rod (was white), a total guess at around $6 since I've had it for at least six years. Black Pottery Barn chandelier (was bronze), gift.

2. Chalkboard, $13 at Hobby Lobby

3. Three ladderback chairs, $10 each at Gladys and Judy's in Chapin. Three small black chairs, hand-me-downs from my grandmother. Cream round table, built by my dad with the balustrade of the staircase from my mom's childhood home as the base. The mason jar was a gift from someone and the boxwood sprigs and ivy are from the backyard.

Another view:

This room is teensy! Here's the other side:

1. Boy scout boxes filled with tent and stakes and boy scout twine, gift (part of a trailer Tom's boss bought for him at the children's home's garage sale). Metal stars, $15. Fabric, free (top piece) and around $3 a yard on clearance (bottom piece). Metal basket, free and from our deep freezer.

2. Most of the items on the counter were gifts and I don't think I'll go through all of my china as it was mostly gifts and would take forever. I did buy the tiny little chair for $7 at one of my favorite Columbia stores. The little print in the back is a screenprint that my Great Aunt Caroline did.

a very, very, very fine house

To date the official start to summer for us has involved my wallet, cell phone and make-up bag being stolen and Whitt having an odd stomach bug that has lasted six days so far. I don't have a lot of meaningful things to say, but the other day I cleaned our den and remembered that I haven't taken any after pictures of the house.

So, I was thinking that I'd show some pictures of where we are. What I'm showing today is by no means finished, but it's where we've gotten without spending much money which has been Tom's mantra over the past two months.

This is our den before. Not a bad start!

I didn't do the best job at taking before pictures because Whitt was running around and at that point he didn't really do stairs.

This is the before view from our den into the back of the house: dining room, breakfast room and kitchen. The door to the right leads to my room, an office/sewing room. I'll show that another day.

Here it is today. I have to say first that I really love to decorate and arrange. I am sure, however, that a professional would find a million things wrong with what I've done. I used to really struggle with that fact. I used to feel like our house was just a rectory filled with mostly hand-me-downs.

Over the past two years I have learned to stop comparing and to embrace my things and my house and my style. It is quirky, but I think that it is true to our family. I love our little house and no matter where I've been on any given day, I always feel good when I walk in the door of our home. What we've been given? It's something to be thankful for and I have the built-in reminder of being surrounded by people who have been uprooted to remind me that we have so much more than we need.

The walls are a buff color throughout the downstairs, excluding the kitchen and breakfast room. It was hard to pick a neutral color after six years of white walls, but there were no do-overs, so I needed to know that we wouldn't get any paint surprises.

This is the view from the foyer. The doors to the right and left lead to the sunroom/playroom.

View from the other side looking into the foyer. I closed the doors on the entertainment center which we never do. Do y'all do that? Close the doors when you're not watching tv? I guess I'm lazy.

Everything is pretty much the same in this house as in the other except we brought Tom's grandparents' wardrobe into the den. I could tell he didn't want to lug it upstairs and we don't need it up there anyway. It holds coats and boots. The picture and silver serving pieces on top were my grandma and grandpa's.


This little wicker chair was in the nursery when Drew was a baby. I sprayed it black last year. The picture on the wall was my grandma's.

The other change in this room is that my parents gave us a rug they weren't using. I'm trying to work more blue in so it belongs a little more. The two Charleston cathedrals were cross-stitched by my mama in the 70s.

I've shown this thrift store lamp before. It's the only thing I bought for this house in the den.

Just look at all of our remotes. We are cheap. We don't have cable, so we have a converter box. It's sort of a sore spot right now because we don't get NBC. I am trying to be patient, but when The Office and Friday Night Lights start their new seasons, well, I don't know, but I think I will not be a pleasant person if I have to watch them on our little laptop every week.

This is the view from our couch to the back of the house. My daddy came and hung the two chandeliers for me. He also fixed the downstairs shower. That's how we roll. I always have a project for him. He always does it lovingly. The chandelier in the dining room was my grandmother's. The one on the floor is the children's home's and I don't really know what to do with it.

I think y'all need a break, so I'll revisit more of the house in the coming weeks. If y'all are interested. You might be saying, "P'shaw!" I don't know. I do know that I love looking at other peoples' houses and I'm trusting that you do, too!

weirdly different

Why is it that the you that sets out to have summer be all relaxing does not communicate with the you who schedules summer camps and vacations and playdates and lessons? I have overbooked us in every way possible and I am fighting the urge to scratch it all off the calendar and stay at the beach for the bulk of the summer. If it weren't for Tom. Because I spent money on these experiences and that causes his heart to go all a-twitter and he gets very clammy. And I would have to be without him for a good little while and since he sort of keeps me in the realm of reality, I would be very adrift without him.

We just finished swimming lessons and next week we begin VBS; then it's zoo camp for Drew and then gymnastics camp for Mary Des. And then we have a couple of trips to the beach and then one to Atlanta. All of that crammed into eleven weeks.

I am sort of a one-trick pony in that I only do one or two things well. Any more and I start to come unstitched. I leave the ice cream on the counter. Or better yet, I put it in the cabinet. I buy jam instead of jelly. Apparently this is very worrisome because there is a huge difference between jam and jelly. I leave the van door open. For hours at a time and even though I now have a faincy van that has automatic doors. I wonder why the laundry porch (it isn't even really a room) is so warm for two days until I am informed that the back door is unlocked and cracked. Open. In June. When it's 90 degrees in this city of cement. FOR! TWO! DAYS! Y'all want to know what that did to my husband's heart?

My pastor said this morning that we are are all created weirdly different. I think the Lord wanted to emphasize both of those characteristics when He thought me up. The point is that until I can get through the crazy I have created, I will be posting a bit more lightly. At some point in time I thought all of these things were a good idea and now I want to focus on actually enjoying them.

i'm just holding on

Sometimes I call Whitt bad to the bone. It frustrates Tom, but he sort of is. I mean that in the best, only your mother can say it, endearing way possible. His smile is wily. When you tell him no, he cuts his eyes at you and it is obvious that he is wondering if you really mean no and if it is really worth it.

Sometimes I catch him with Mary Des' pink princess bike helmet on. He sticks things up his nose. Last week he somehow reached the chip bag and I found him walking around with one hand stuck down in the bag. He was all, "What?" I guess he had the munchies.

He talks some, but mostly when you ask him to say something he says, "Na." He wants to do everything himself. Eat. Drink. Walk up stairs. Cross the street. He doesn't share either and if I am even close to his sister or brother he is quick to run over and claim me as his.

If you say, "Ready. Set. Go," he will run. He. Does. Not. Stop. He is constant motion and, honestly, he exhausts me. I just know that this is my daredevil child.

The thing is that even though all of these things are tiring to even write, I love him so very much. I love him so very much BECAUSE of these things and a whole host of others. He's a tater tot and I wouldn't want anything else.